Dating a Younger Guy?


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There is this guy who I've known for about a month. I *love* to talk to him... he's smart, funny, and we just have a lot in common. It's pretty funny, sometimes we're talking and we say the same thing at the same time. I was starting to think... wow, I think this guy could become my best friend!! I love hanging out with him! And then.... a few days ago, he said something flirty. I said something flirty back, just kinda as a come-back, not really meaning to flirt. Then, he said, "Are you flirting with me?" And, I said, "No, just joking around!" And he said, "Well, I *was* flirting with you. I really like you. I really really like you. You're beautiful and fun and I love being with you." I was stunned and my heart did flip-flops. I didn't think of him in a romantic way because I'm older than him, and really just considered him a friend. But, I admit, he is very cute. Best smile I've ever seen and.... gosh, just really cute! But, I have been avoiding talking to him since then because I just don't know if I should even move that direction in our relationship. I'm 45. He's 23. He seems older. I am definitely younger in spirit, and I look younger than I am. He thought I was no more than 30 when he met me. What do you think ladies? Should I RUN? Or just see where it goes. He even told me that he felt like we were soul mates.... ugh.... my heart is all crazy!!!

Ironically, the only place that looks very old on my body is my BOOBS!!!!!


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Being the parent of 5 kids, with the oldest being 41, Mama has to say this. I think the thing is what was said already, "where is your heart". Back when I was young, which seems like a long time ago, it DID matter about age difference. Today, I think, with the increase in maturity and brain power, I feel that difference in age isn't as key as it once was. There will ALWAYS be people who may scorn at you but, in the end, it comes down to how you feel. If your brain tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another, then listen to your brain. But if you are comfortable in both areas, go for it my dear. Mama will back you 100% . Just make sure that it isn't just a quick thing and gone type. good luck my dear. Mama J :-* :-* :-*


New Member
Well yeah, I´d say just go for it! You never know what may happen. ;D

You know, I had a similar experience some years ago, only he was 20 and I was 36 when it started. The age difference didn´t really show, it was so easy to talk to him, like we had known each other for ages! It was really strange because we didn´t have anything in common. This guy was very open emotionally, he didn´t hide his feelings, much like you´re describing. And it´s very easy to fall for someone who tells you he´s crazy about you, and is very intense all the time... So it was a very good experience. It didn´t last more than a couple of years, though, and it was never a stable kind of relationship, but I have never regretted getting into it. I think when you get to a certain age you don´t necessarily look for a serious, marriage-kind of love, but you can take things more as they come. (But anyway, who knows? Just look at Demi and Ashton, haha!)
good luck and have fun!


New Member
this is an interesting one, I used to date someone 9 years younger, I was 28 and he was 20, we both clicked emotionally and sexually. We fell madly in love.. the only downside of this relationship, I was ready to settle down and he was not.. it took a while for us to realise we were not on the same level of maturity and experience. It was good for a while. You have to remember the outcome at the end, the fact is he is 23, he might want to get married and have kids. You are 43, can you give him all that some days? and in ten years time, you will look heaps older than him.. I personally think its not a good idea. You got to think ahead. If you are perpared for just fun and enjoying time with him.. then go for it.

I am glad I broke up with my ex because I have been feelin insecure of our age difference and I can imagine how worse I can feel when i get older and he is still sexy and charming... since he is very good looking and with all muscles. He does not provide me emotionally security which I was craving for. Now I am dating 5 yrs younger and I am very happy with him.. much better than 9 years younger..

and hey, please consider of his mum's feelings. Imagine how his mum would feel? how would you feel if your son was seeing someone 20 yrs older? You are a mother right? so I agree with mama J, sometimes its better to use your Brain than the heart. I loved my younger ex so much to let him go and find someone much more suitable for him.

anyway, whatever you wish to do, good luck. :)


New Member
Socially it might be very awkward. If you are dating a 23 year old, he will want to be doing and hanging out with other 23 years olds. For me that would be really hard to handle at your age and conversation may be centered around stupid topics you don't care about anymore. I dated 1 younger guy (by only a few years) and while he was "more mature" on his own, as soon as he was around his younger guy friends his immaturity level went through the roof. It drove me insane and I broke it off within 2 weeks. ;)


New Member
Thanks everybody.... he's been texting me and I have said a lot of the things you guys have said. I asked him how old his mom was and she's 10 years older than me. So, I'm closer to her age than his. He said that didn't matter. I said it might matter to his mom. But, yeah... I've also thought about the fact that if it turned into more than a fling, I would be very self conscious about my age as time went on and WILL eventually look old... while he is still young. But, to that, he says I think too much! He basically wants me to live in the moment and not worry about all that stuff. He says age is just a number and what matters is that we have a great time when we are together. But yeah... the point about hanging out with his friends... I can see how that could be an issue. Because even older guys suddenly become less mature when they with their buddies. I guess my brain is saying, don't do it while my heart is saying "just see where it goes". I should probably listen to my brain.


Kellynne -Please go for it!! It doesn't seem like there is a reason NOT to! Who cares what people think?? Ironically, before I had a nose job and lipo, I used to care what people thought about me. Since I have had these things, (and not because of the effects of the surgeries because I was walking around in town swollen and bruised everywhere with a big bandage around my nose after I had it done and couldn't care less what people thought of me even though I would have done without the bandages and MASSIVE swelling!!), I seriously don't care what people think about me and when you start to think like that, you realise that actually, it is nothing to do with anyone else and there is NO reason to hide what you are doing or pretend to be someone else!

If people have a problem with anything you do, they are the ones with the problem! If you are attracted to this guy and think he is nice and want to go out with him then do it! If the only thing that is holding you back is the age thing and what people think then these are trivial things. Feelings and being happy are what matter and it sounds like you could have both with this guy...good luck X


New Member
Yep, I tend to think that in dating the only thing that matters is how you feel about the guy - not if it´s convenient (aka how it looks on the outside, if it´ll last until you die, whatever)... it´s not like you´re buying a car!
You might meet someone who is precisely how others think he should be for you, like someone your age, with the same kind of experiences, perhaps even with kids the same age as yours, but if he doesn´t give you flip-flops (to use your expression), whats the use??? And seriously, since when are mothers-in-law honestly happy about their sons girlfriends (or even wives)? I have a son myself and I don´t expect to go gaga over his girlfriends when he grows up - that´s just how life is, and it´s no big deal!
(Faithnlove: I really like the song btw)


New Member
Go for it, and when or if necessary put an end to it. You're essentially worrying that in the future you could worry about the age difference. Maybe there will be a problem in the long run, maybe there won't be a problem. Maybe there wont be a long run at all.

Worrying leads to the dark side shitty star wars prequel scripts. You don't want to endure this. ;D


New Member
Hmm. Tricky tricky. Obviously it is up to you...but I will say this. When I was 13, my dad dated a 25 year old girl. He was 45. It was kind of neat...but she acted a LOT like I did. Maybe she was immature? Oh, and she lived at home, pretty weird going to her parent's house for social events. Also, I'm 21 years old, and maybe it's different because I'm female, but I would NOT date a 45 year old. Main reason would be because I'd imagine socially, we'd be on different planets! I party occasionally, drink occasionally, smoke occasionally, go to clubs, bars, hookah lounges, concerts. I also know many 23 year old or even older guys, and they are very immature...many of them either don't go to school or are going to take years to graduate, don't have jobs or have a really bad job (part time at a retail store won't pay for you to live!), still live with their parents or have roommates (which is a bit better, but usually the roommates are the same age), do drugs...This type of lifestyle simply doesn't appeal to a mature adult! I once dated a 24 year old (when I was 19, but that fact is irrelevant) and he was SUPER mature...just got his teaching credentials and taught at a high school, lived in his own house, paid for everything himself...) so if this guy is more along those lines, then I'd probably see if the relationship could go further. I think what I'm trying to say is...make sure you know who he is before you continue. The age itself isn't the's the social factors that go with the "average" people of your ages. Good luck!


New Member
I personally would say no. But don't let what people on the internet tell you what to do. Follow your heart, however, I would keep your expectations realistic. You don't want to be hurt/burned if things don't work out..


New Member
GO FOR IT! But be careful.

The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I was 38 going through a heartbreaking divorce and he was 29. The casual flirtation turned into a heavy affair and believe me, that was the boost in confidence I needed when I was feeling insecure, unlovable and lonely. A younger many can wake you up, make you feel beautiful and give you extra energy!

But be careful. I was wise enough to keep our relationship a secret. Later I found out he was not who I imagined him to be. He was bi-polar, and having sex with anything that moves indiscriminately. This 29-yr old guy was sleeping with lesbians, mothers, grandmothers, you name it! Now I am glad that I didn't take the relationship too seriously.

Think of this as the best time of your life. Enjoy every minute of it, but realize you don't want this forever. Once things become serious, the age difference will become apparent. ENJOY!