Building Self Confidence

[Maplesyrup]

I have noticed that many women on here have incredible self confidence. I have always thought that bigger breasts would finally balance out my body shape and I would finally be the confident woman I want to be. But I cannot rely upon achieving that goal anytime soon. Any tips on this subject, ladies? I wish I could be completely comfortable in my skin, regardless of my body. It takes everything I have just to don my bathingsuit in the summer... ???

 

[Aim4c]

Hi Maplesyrup,

We have all had issues with self confidence at one point or another in our lives. Your boobs don’t have to be big to look great…I have small boobs and I focus more the things that I like about me…I accentuate my positives…I joke a lot about my small boobs…I know they’re small but I would still be me even if they were bigger.
I must admit that usually whenever I have to wear a bathing suit I would feel a bit off my game cause I have no padded swimwear lol…Instead of letting it get the better or me….I buy very skimpy tops…covers very little of what little breast I have…creates an illusion of breast overflowing ;D…usually for the first 2-3 minutes wearing my 2 piece, I will feel a bit uneasy, but after that, I forget about the boobs thing and just start having fun. I hear VS has some nice padded swimwear…so I will definitely be getting a pair of those.

Make a list of all the things you like about yourself, work on accentuating those positives and I am not speaking merely of physical attributes. We all have something we would like to change about ourselves, Some people have more boobs than they desire (I know a few) and they seem to feel worse than I do with my small boobs). I have 2 friends who had they boob size reduces (surgery)..They both got really HUGE boobs after baby and weight gain which they hated...and they caused back pain. (of course the inverse was true for me…I lost some boobage…but I guess I also lost all baby weight too). Some people only have one boob…lost the other one to cancer…small medium or large boobs…we have a lot to be grateful for.

It’s OK feel down…just don’t stay there!
 

 

[jnorton22002]

Hi maplesyrup

I really agree with aim4cin what she has to say. Also, I would like to add this thought. We all are special. We need to realize that we all were created to be only who we are. Embrace who you are. Love yourself for the great things you have done Focus on everything positive. Boobage takes time to grow and sometimes our self image requires to to build up. Check into every thing about you and how you factor things. we can sometimes learn that maybe changing a few things very slightly will enhance our self image. Keep your head up sweetie, life is out there waiting for you to grab a hold of it. Love and hugs to you Joni :-* :-*

 

[secret]

Hey maplesyrup
i dont have much self confidence myself . it was just few days ago i was on my break so i decide to go to the nearest mall and shop. So i started to notice most of the girls have big boobs, cause they are showing cleavage and i started to feel like crap. So i went BRA SHOPPING and i felt more like crap.... lol However my best friend called we talked and i told her how i felt, she call me a retard for viewing my breast as the important thing that makes me for who iam. So i realized that shes right i got great ppls around me that loves me for me. I do want my boobs to get bigger, its just like an accessory.I would love to have it, but i'm still me when i dont.Lol i'm pretty sure i'm not making much sense cause i kinda just got of work
babe i think you should know confidence comes from within yourself, and starting to tell urself you are great everyday actually help i took some psychology course from what i remember that some how actually works. People usually see other as a whole....not just the breast luv....

you got your noogle fam support lots of luv <3333

 

[Maplesyrup]

I know that bra shopping feeling, especially since all the sizes are so different. One day I went into Fredericks of Hollywood to find something sexy. Would you know that I am a large there?! Because my ribcage is so wide, and then the cups on the larges are huge. Its so devastating when I was trying to feel sexy. I actually don't mind small breasts, I enjoy being able to run and not having to wear a bra 24/7. But its being proportionate that bothers me, I find that when I start getting upset its either making my breasts larger or my waist smaller. And its becoming unhealthy I think. I know that my insecurity is showing in this post, but I have a feeling some women can maybe second this feeling. I'm running out of ideas I guess. :-[ Just gotta keep my head up, thanks everyone for your kind words.

 

[Lily13]

My self confidence changes according to the day, hour and minute. One minute I think this noogling thing is great and then the next I'm looking at my breasts thinking that it's not doing anything. On the surface I appear to be very self-confident but peel away that and I'm usually a basket case. I just hope that when I get my larger breasts, that I still don't feel insecure about them or I just focus on another aspect of my body...

 

[bonzaigirl]

hi maple syrup...

self confidence is a bit of a difficult subject depending on what type of person you are... i wasn't always the most popular in high school because i really had like bad hair.. i mean it's very curly... and in an asian country... it's usually the straightest that get you in... anyways... this is not a sob story so don't despair... but i find that having a great personality nullifies whatever it is that is lacking in your physical outlook..

start your day with a great smile and a positive outlook in life... gather the best of friends... leave those that stick a knife in ur back...don't listen to too much negativity..because in all honesty, the world is already full of it... don't care too much of what others feel of you... so what if you have acne (find a good dermatologist honey) .. or what if your teeth is crooked ( just smile a lot..as long as your breath does not smell then it does not matter)... so what if you're fat ( as long as you are healthy and not overly obese and you know you are eating right) ... it is true...what matters is the inside of a person... you can start building confidence from the inside... you know that you are not hurting anyone's feelings... you have a good support system in ur many friends ( and that is not because you made their science project or their english thesis either)...

you know what... it's funny..because i started developing my confidence in college... away from popular kids in high school and believe me..they were mean to me too... i mean that's not funny... what's funny is i had a longtime boyfriend in college despite the fact that i had a bad hair, bad skin and i was like really skinny... as in bone thin... and now i look halfway decent... i can style my hair whatever ( that is due to the science of hair straighteners and curling tongs ... not to mention a good conditioner) ... and i have clear skin... but i am single... ironic isn't it.. and you know what.. the mean and popular kids in high school are the fat and haggard looking...

it takes a long time for confidence to develop... but start slow... and discover things in you.. in your personality... that would make you build it up..

hope i helped even in just a tad way.. sorry.. didn't mean to make it into an essay of sorts...

 

[Paloma]

Just wanted to say that everyone's advice is so beautiful! I love to see women lovin themselves.

Another thing I have to add is when I feel less confident I make myself fake it until I make it. That means, like, if I notice I'm walking around with my chin down or chest caving or any of that nervous, self depreciating body language, I try to correct it by pullin myself up str8, holding my head higher, smiling at myself (in my mind, not in the mirror) breathing deep, pushing my shoulder blades DOWN from around my ears. And I remind myself "f-it, I don't have to be nuthin but what I am!" and pretty soon I start to feel confident, and people start to react to me as they would to a confident person... and then I'm all good in my skin.

So, this works because your body is constantly sending subconscious messages to your brain. If your body is relaxed and poised it sends the message that everything (including YOU) are OK and then your brain believes it... and then it becomes true. Try it - it really works!

 

[lovelyoneanna]

I believe self confidence is the main assets that a person needs. You set your goals you achieve them and theres nothing wrong with being ashamed of real life situations. The best advice is that if you share your most secret moments with the ones close to you. With out hiding under the bed or in the close. In return you fine that ilife is just that more positive. Others will open up to you as well. Its just that much more special each and everyday. I am glad to have a significant other to share my ugly moments with. It makes my glamour moments just that much more glamourous. Changes comes through out life and you must be prepared to handle it with a warm and caring heart, not being afraid. So give yourself a hand, and not a beat down. Love your changes and your changes will love you.

 

[amelie]

Okay, I usually follow Paloma´s strategy of faking self confidence... but one of my wonderful mom´s advices is: do as the French. Which means: take notice of your best features and "highlight" them. There´s no need to be perfect overall, just take care of the most beautiful assets you have.

For example: I´m told I have nice eyes, hair and ass. So I should never leave the house without putting on eye makeup, washing my hair, wearing clothes that show my ass (tight pants work best). To be honest, most of the time I´m a bit too lazy to remember all this and I tend to go around looking not my very best, but I certainly feel people look different at me when I do make those little efforts.

Another thing I´ve noticed is that women are hardest on each other. I mean, guys will forgive any flaw if you´re laughing at their jokes but girlfriends tend to be really critical. So whenever a girlfiend tells me I look good, it must really be true! ;D