breasts, nipples and social norms

[hephaistos]

Sorry about the double post, but another funny thing is the "page3" girls thing. "normal" rubbish newspapers (best selling in the uk) have a topless siliconed girl on the 3rd page. everyone knows it, you see people going to work with that pile of murdoch garbage in their hands, and it's somehow acceptable... Kids can even buy it. And people don't seem to find that strange.

 

[hephaistos]

lol triple post now.... Something that might be of interest. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topfreedom

 

[xxbabygirlxx]

Why do guys think that wearing padded bras for them though? The "add two cup size bras" are probably not for them but there line of work [promo girls wear them, and dancers]. Sometimes us girls wear padded bras for ourselves, because it makes us feel better. I don't own a "add two cup size bra", but when i do club work i have a ton of tricks to make my boobs look amazing. Personally, i like the way fake boobs look[if done well], i just don't like how rock hard they are. So who cares if its false advertising? Guys should already know if a girls boobs are to her neck what she is doing, and most of the time we do it for ourselves, because it makes us feel better.

I'm sorry but 1/4 cups bras are not attractive looking to me. I like the round look personally.

 

[Lily13]

I agree with Junjo. We do things all the time as an illusion to make ourselves look better. We buy specific jeans that look good on our body types, we wear makeup, we wear high heels to look taller, we dye our hair, we get our nails done and we curl our hair if it's straight or we straighten our hair if it's curly. The list is so long I could go on and on. Being a woman is just one illusion or deception after another if you really get down to it. Would a guy be upset if he found out your curly hair was done by a curling iron and not "natural"? lol I doubt it but maybe there are some like that.

I don't have one of the "add 2 cup sizes", but I have the Emma bra from Aerie that "adds up to 1 cup size". I love it and think I'll be buying more like it. It makes me feel more feminine and have more confidence. My husband doesn't mind the "false advertising" as some of you have put it. In fact he was absolutely amazed by it and says it's the best bra I've ever owned. He was ready to buy me more.

Today I wore a tank top that I've had for a while. I think I posted a picture of me in it a while back and I could not believe how my boobs looked in it now. Thanks to this bra (and noogleberry) I actually look like a girl that finally went through puberty!

Honestly I have no desire to go topless any time soon. It is not an issue that I have any ambition to stand up for or to even worry about. I think women get bored and just come up with these ideas to spark controversy or to get attention.

 

[hephaistos]

I like the argument about the double standards and "many men have bigger breasts than women" too

I think there are big differences of taste here. Especially about "fake". I hate fake breasts. And fake tan makes me want to puke... make up too... A bit of lipstick i get it, layers of dulux I don't.

Sometimes us girls wear padded bras for ourselves, because it makes us feel better.

But why does it make you feel better? If you don't mind my asking. I'm trying to correlate with an example of myself wearing padded pants and I just don't understand how it would make me feel better. especially if that "false adverstising" is aimed at myself instead of women.

 

[xxbabygirlxx]

Well, that is your opinion, but i know alot of men that say otherwise. I wear padded bras for myself, i like the look, i hate it when they're lower. Whatever makes me feel good, and if the guy who is looking at them thinks there like that all the time then its that fault because obviously there a tad slow..haha. Me wearing a padded bra, wearing makeup, getting "dolled up" isn't for just men. It makes me feel better about myself.
It is like the argument that girls who get dolled up to go to the club are doing it for men. For some women it is, but for others it just for themselves, and some women do it to compete with other women. You spend the time looking good for yourself and when you look in the mirror you feel good how you look. Not everything we do is for men though, why would i spend an hour getting ready to impress some guy i have never met before? For me padded bras bring the girls up [ for bigger boobs its needed], and makes the waist super tiny. Some women also do it to make

 

[Lily13]

I don't think it is false advertising though at all and I can't understand a guy that would be upset personally... Would this same guy be upset if he saw you when you first woke up in the morning with bed head and no makeup? That's what comes into my mind when I think of that.

Anyway I'm married and not looking to get a man, yet I still wear makeup when I go to the store, do my hair, wear high heels, paint my nails and look my very best. If I wore sweatpants all the time and never did my hair, I'd feel so crappy about myself and it would show in my personality and choices I make. I am agreeing with xxbabygirl on this for sure. Confidence is the reason a woman dresses nice. If a woman does not want to take care of themselves, then I'd be reluctant to be with them (if I were a guy of course lol).

Breasts are viewed as being mature, sophisticated and feminine. If you have tiny boobs that have barely any protrusion, women feel insecure and as if they are not feminine enough. Guys dont have a boob equivalent. Padding your pants is not even close to the same.

This is interesting though and I don't want to sound like I'm bragging...But ever since I started growing my boobs, I've been getting more looks and whistles at random places/times. Do I think it is the boobs? Hmm maybe a tiny bit, but it is mostly because I am more confident and it shows on the outside for sure.

PS. Babygirl I meant to tell you a while back I watched your youtube video about pant styles and it was great. You are gorgeous btw.

 

[junjo]

Every person has their mind set on what's attractive or not for themselves, sometimes you change it to please others, others you don't. My boyfriend says all the time that most women he knows dresses for women more than for men, I guess he's right. But it is not simply trying to look pretty for other girls, but I am a girl as well and I have a certain taste that may work with other females because we are, in fact, women.
I like being feminine and I don't think that being feminine has a formula. I know girls who can wear anything, goes miles away from make up and they are feminine, what they do works for them. You have to work with something that works for you, to please you and to please who you want to please.

When you dress up, wear a padded bra for yourself, you are pleasing your notion of what beauty is. I don't think that people go on the streets looking at men crotches, observing if it's big and saying "omg that makes his body beautiful", haha. It is not the same, but you can look at a woman without any sexual intention and think that her breasts makes her body looks more graceful, prettier. I guess we have a intimate relationship with our breasts, they are not just hiding in our pants, even when they are tiny they are showing and we want them to look good.

 

[hephaistos]

I understand why women want bigger breasts, or increase facial traits with makeup, etc... Same goes for guys (who are, btw, very self-conscious when it comes to their junk. My wife's uncle got prostate cancer and refused to have it removed ) ... What I don't understand is why change your appearance to a point where it looks nothing like the original/real... Although it would seem "because I like it" will have to do as an answer

 

[amelie]

I think it´s just in our nature to feel better with ourselves when we´ve taken care of our looks, it´s nothing to do with attracting men. Girls just enjoy grooming, trying on dresses, looking in the mirror. There´s nothing more pleasing than wearing new clothes that make us look nice! My grandma and her friends always took care to dress up as best as possible, put on makeup etc even when they weren´t doing anything special, because they knew that as they got older it was the best thing to stay mentally fit and happy. They all looked like real ladies all through old age, never wanted to wear jogging suits or comfortable shoes because they just felt more comfortable looking pretty instead!
There´s nothing more depressing for a woman to look in the mirror and feel ugly, I think you could compare it to how a guy feels when he´s unemployed or something like that.

I understand that for guys all this dolling up must seem like women are trying to attract someone to get laid or whatever, but it´s really just about self esteem.
I am not at all a girly woman, I have many male friends whom I relate to as equals and I do fencing, which is a bit of a "male" sport I guess (and I just love it!), but in other areas I´m very feminine and that´s why I want to look like a woman. And yeah, that´s why I´m changing the appearance of my boobs, not because I don´t like them, but because they can look better than they do now.

 

[Lily13]

I think the closest comparison to boobs for men are their abs. Definitely not their junk...That doesn't even make sense to me. Women are not looking at your package..Sorry to burst your bubble. Some guys are completely obsessed with getting a perfect 6 six pack. That stuff was never attractive to me though. As long as you weren't disgusting, I did not care what your abs looked like. lol I know some women go wild over that stuff though, so it just shows each person is different.

There are aspects of my personality and interests that are more guy-like too, but as far as looks go, I am definitely feminine! I like playing video games so that's definitely a guy thing.

If guys think women only get dressed up for them, then I hate to bruise your ego again, but that is not true. We dress up for ourselves and for other women too.

 

[hephaistos]

Hmm yes you're probably right about comparing boobs with abs. Most men don't care about their abs but those who do care like to display them. (which obviously doesn't happen with the "package" as it has nothing to do with attracting women, we certainly agree about that lol)

What I don't understand is that for a guy to wear padded pants (or drawing abs with makeup? I'm struggling to come up with examples) would indicate a very low self-esteem, but it seems to be the opposite for women.

 

[Lily13]

Most guys aren't concerned with their appearance though like women. Someone mentioned, it would be like if a guy lost his job and could not provide for his family. That's really the closest equivalent I can think of. You have to get away from physical comparisons for a man because it is just not the same.

 

[amelie]

Yep, I think there are only very few guys who are really concerned about their looks, perhaps only David Beckham? Just think how long a guy takes to get ready before going out and all the trouble a woman goes through. There is really no comparison, it´s a matter of different priorities.
Perhaps a man´s energy makes him feel good when he is being useful, and feels able and strong. For women it´s definitely different, we just like being pretty and attractive and lovable in itself, not to attract (except in very specific occasions).
Perhaps that´s also why we´re so concerned about relationships, we spend a lot of mental energy thinking about those topics. I can´t say I´ve ever heard guys fretting about things like that, they get much more worked up over things about their job or competitive situations, like sports.

 

[Anatori]

Honestly, I think the reason why guys dont fret about it as much as girls do, is because of what we're surrounded with. Yes, you do see pictures of male models with "perfect abs" and biceps and things like that. But you see FAR more magazines, movies, and other images of skinny women with smooth perfect asses, round large perky breasts, flawless skin, ...etc. And while women look at male actors and say "omg he has gorgeous eyes" or comment on his abs or something, I hear more comments from my guy firends along the lines of "show me her rack." Magazine covers are of women with fake breasts that men will stare at. Men are more open about their fascination with large breasts than women are with physical features they like.

Like Lily, I have never been attracted to these "perfect" men. Honestly I'm repulsed my them. But i've never heard a man say "big boobs are just unattractive." I hear them say small ones are ok cuz they dont sag when you're older. But thats just what they are. "Ok." And so looking at myself, I see an "ok" person. An "ok" body. So padded bras make my body seem better than ok. I'm more acceptable in my eyes. I am doing this for me. When I look in the mirror, my first thought is " I don't like that." Followed closely by "I want to be more attractive." And then I think about what I feel would look good and THEN I wonder if my bf would like that result too. But my first thought is making me like what i see in the mirror.

But I'm not going to lie and say its COMPLETELY for me. I see men stop and stare at women who fit the "perfect" description and I know I don't fall under that catagory. I am doing this because I feel like kind of a lesser being. I want my boyfriend to love me not only for my personality but for my looks as well. Men love looking at breasts. If they didnt, Maxim, Playboy, Hustler and all those magazines wouldnt be as popular. Men wouldn't recommend movies based on "dude you get to see >insert actress here< naked! Its awesome!" So here I come along thinking, once I get breasts that are big and real, my boyfriend will be complimented on how hot his girlfriend is and he will agree. Then I'll be his dream girl. Maybe its selfish. Maybe its stupid. Maybe i just need to be knocked unconscious so they can rewire my brain to just like me and say "if you don't then thats your problem not mine" But yeah. Thats why I freak out over my appearance.

 

[hephaistos]

I see what you mean. As far as I'm concerned, the mirror is only here for shaving... And obviously men looking after themselves are seen as gay, so as you can imagine many guys do the complete opposite.

As to large breasts being more attractive... When covered, the way the owner goes about has 90% to do with the attractiveness. Not afraid to wear nice clothes, head looking straight, the back the same. shoulders placed in a way that displays even more. With small breasts, you do this, wear one of those low cut tops and it will be just as stunning.
In my experience, big boobs sag more, have more stretch marks, more veins, and are more likely to point down.

As to all the magazines, i don't know why so many guys read them (I suspect they don't get enough at home?), I don't, and pictures tend to annoy me because i want the real thing lol.

 

[Lily13]

Yep I agree with the male model thing and looking pretty. Guys do not idolize them at all and any guys you see are aimed towards women and not men. The only exception might be the more manly, matured model with a 5 o clock shadow and slightly wrinkled face.

You have proven my point that it is all about confidence. ;D It really doesn't matter what size boobs you have as long as you are confident with them. I personally feel more confidence in my body when they are a bit larger. Like for a guy comparison, if would be as if you got a huge job promotion. Providing for the family and wife is likely on the same priority level. I know it sounds shallow, but that is the way we are wired. I hate it sometimes that I care so much about how I look, but I don't think there is any way to get around it. My husband likes it that I care though because it makes him feel like a good provider and spouse. I think he likes showing me off too.

I admit I don't get the magazine thing either...but I have weird emotional, comparison issues with them. I know I shouldn't but if I'm having a bad day, I don't want to see my man looking at another chick. Doesn't exactly boost the confidence levels. I'm getting better about all of this stuff though.

 

[roadrashes]

Confidence increases attractiveness and I totally agree with everyone on that subject. Being marrried to a man who had tons of boxes of magazines it never focused on a shape or sixe it always focused on the woman being naked. Men look at everything. I spent an entire day mall watching men and they look at young, old, large, small girls and those that are very young(16-19).Their tastes change everyday.

As to the nipple thing, it is so rare to catch a glimpse (like a forbidden fruit) men do go ga ga over it.

In regards to the padded bras, I have one and do wear it on speacial ocassions or during my cycle to make me feel better.Men feel it's false advertising, but the same could go for his package. You don't know until it is time to undress. Here's one thing I know for a fact, I have never had a girlfriend tell me after taking off her push up pradded bra to go home by the guy. So even though guys may cry foul they really don't care as long as you're geting naked. If you're a guy who is only picking a girl based on her boob size then you deserve to be found out as a shallow dope. just my opinion.

 

[hephaistos]

I think roadrashes is right. for guys it's more about getting it than it is about what they're getting... Let's be honest if they had some kind of issue with your appearance they probably wouldn't stay with you. So if you want to stop your husband looking at other women, removing your clothes, taking the magazines off their hands and putting them in the bin without even saying anything will probably work

 

[Lily13]

"I have never had a girlfriend tell me after taking off her push up pradded bra to go home by the guy. So even though guys may cry foul they really don't care as long as you're geting naked. If you're a guy who is only picking a girl based on her boob size then you deserve to be found out as a shallow dope. just my opinion."

So true...I never had a single person I dated tell me anything bad about my boobs.

"So if you want to stop your husband looking at other women, removing your clothes, taking the magazines off their hands and putting them in the bin without even saying anything will probably work"

This made me laugh out loud. Thankfully my husband isn't into that stuff, so I am good.