Hi Everyone, It looks like all kinds of personal matters are discussed here and I was hoping that I might be able to get some input on a problem I've had the last six months or so. I'm 44, so I'm wondering if this is age related. I enjoy sex and have never had trouble reaching orgasm before, but suddenly, this year I have started to have difficulty. I started taking birth control pills to regulate my period (they had become very irregular) about that same time... had been on them 3 or 4 months and then wondered if that was what was causing the problem. So, I went off the pill because I'd sure rather deal with irregular periods than not be able to have an orgasm! But I'm still having trouble. I've been off the pill for almost 3 months now. It's like my clit isn't as sensitive as it used to be, and even when it feels good it takes forever to reach an orgasm... if at all!! VERY frustrating. My doctor checked my hormone levels and said everything was normal and that I'm not yet going into menopause yet. Anybody have any ideas? I noticed the clitoral enlargement system here... is that supposed to make your clit more sensitive? Anybody here use it? Thanks for any help or suggestions you can give.
difficulty reaching orgasm
- Thread starter kellynne
- Start date
T
tavia
Guest
im 26, and i have been on progesterone only birth control for years , every time i stopped it took several months for me to feel the same as i used to feel b4 bc, the last time was after having my son, i went on bc after a few months of his birth (depo injection), and all the feeling that i thought i had got back, .disapeared within days and after a month i was back to where i started.
bc may not be your problem but it sounds so familiar to my situation that i had to mention it.
on the 18th of this month i had my hormone free copper coil fitted and came off the progesterone only pill, its only now that im starting to feel a difference, my sex drive is still a mess/ non existant but surprisingly im ALWAYS wet, sorry if im giving TMI, but b4 when i was on my bc we had to constantly buy loads of lube because sex was very painfull from the lack of wetness.. it had been that way for years since i got my lupus diagnosis and got told that progesterone only bc was my only option for hormonal bc,
its amazing, its constantly rather wet and if i get the slightest bit excited i fell like ive had a little accident(wee wee)
my sex drive and desire is till far away but i now know that it will hopefully come back with time,a nd im also getting some hormone test results next week to speed the process along with some test replacement,
myCLIT is about a dead as a door nail lol, it ridiculous, ,
bc may not be your problem but it sounds so familiar to my situation that i had to mention it.
on the 18th of this month i had my hormone free copper coil fitted and came off the progesterone only pill, its only now that im starting to feel a difference, my sex drive is still a mess/ non existant but surprisingly im ALWAYS wet, sorry if im giving TMI, but b4 when i was on my bc we had to constantly buy loads of lube because sex was very painfull from the lack of wetness.. it had been that way for years since i got my lupus diagnosis and got told that progesterone only bc was my only option for hormonal bc,
its amazing, its constantly rather wet and if i get the slightest bit excited i fell like ive had a little accident(wee wee)
my sex drive and desire is till far away but i now know that it will hopefully come back with time,a nd im also getting some hormone test results next week to speed the process along with some test replacement,
myCLIT is about a dead as a door nail lol, it ridiculous, ,
T
tavia
Guest
ive heard the coil that does contains hormones can help with periods and the amount of hormone released is very low because its already in the area it needs to be, so mabe if u could look this up and get some more info it could help your irregular p problem,
i also think you should give it some more time, bc effects people differently and it can take longer to get it out of your body that you think or what docs tell you, the same way it easy to get over weight and quick but it takes along time to undo the damage that is done.
some people bounce back with no problems and others dont and have to stick it out for longer.
i totally get how you feel, im married and feel like im not treating my husband right, i feel really down about it, and i also miss the enjoyment and lovely feelings i used to have, but the fact that my vajaja is changing to how it used to be (even better) gives me alot of hope that my clit and desire will come back aswell
i also think you should give it some more time, bc effects people differently and it can take longer to get it out of your body that you think or what docs tell you, the same way it easy to get over weight and quick but it takes along time to undo the damage that is done.
some people bounce back with no problems and others dont and have to stick it out for longer.
i totally get how you feel, im married and feel like im not treating my husband right, i feel really down about it, and i also miss the enjoyment and lovely feelings i used to have, but the fact that my vajaja is changing to how it used to be (even better) gives me alot of hope that my clit and desire will come back aswell
Anastasia916
New Member
I'm only half your age, I'm 22 but I do have a child, I have a 5 year old. And I have been on birthcontrol for years. Well last year I started having the same problem, and basically was having NO sex drive, No desire, and when I had sex I couldn't orgasm, even when it felt good. And it got to the point where it was longer and longer inbetween having sex and then when I did it hurt SOOO bad, we would have to do alot of foreplay for me to even get wet, or we would have to use lube. If you go with trying to use lube I recommend the astroglide liquid, I tried many different ones and that one is the best in my opinion, KY sucks period, the warming one stings. And when I say sting I mean feeling like your insides are on fire!
Now lately I have found a solution to my issue... I went to a doctor and she suggested some changes in my diet, making sure I exercise at least 3 times a week at least 30 min at a time, up the amount of kegels I do (I've always done them to stay tight), and find relaxing me time. Before this advice, I was eating alot of fried foods, alot of junk, sweets etc. Now when I want fried, I eat grilled instead, when I want junk as a snack I try to find a healthy alternative, when I want a sweet I grab some fruit or a slimfast snack bar. I do at least 100 kegels per day, I work out 3 to 5 times per week, and I take at least 15 min or more daily for me time, with a kid, all the animals I have and a hubby that wants my time when he's off, that is difficult, but it can be done. I tell him to watch the kid for a few, I go take a hot bath and just relax, or I lay in bed listening to relaxing music and meditate, if you like books, read a book. So far I have been doing this a month or so and it's working! Also I was advised by a few people to take time for lovemaking as much as possible and even if I'm not in the mood initiate it with my hubby and I will get in the mood, what I do is just start kissing him, and we make out for like 15 min, this definitely gets me in the mood, then we either start foreplay or grab the lube and go at it. So far EVERYTIME I'm having an orgasm, sometimes it only takes 5 min, other times 15 or 20 min, but either way I get one. Now I use to get multiples. And the last time I got 2, so maybe it's improving. I think as mothers, wives, women with busy jobs, etc. we tend to forget how to take care of ourselves, and this causes us to screw ourselves sexually. Also I think part of my problem was before NB I took individual herbs and I had some nasty side effects and I think the loss of sexual desire was just one of them. So my suggestion would be if your diet is lacking, fix it, if you don't exercise enough exercise more, even if it's just jogging instead of walking everywhere you go, every little bit counts, if you don't take time to relax, start! you deserve it, don't tell yourself you don't have time, just do it, start doing kegels, that will help keep ya tight and help make you more sensitive. Also alot of my problem was while having sex my mind would wonder on everything else, just concentrate on the feelings you are getting, stop thinking about the bills, about if this and that, and is that going to be okay, just relax and let go. Hope this helps and good luck!
Oh also, routine in lovemaking can get boring, try to spice it up and mix it up a little. Also lingerie is not just for men to enjoy seeing, if you wear it and make yourself feel sexy, you will feel better too. I LOVE wearing it for my hubby cause it makes me feel good.
Now lately I have found a solution to my issue... I went to a doctor and she suggested some changes in my diet, making sure I exercise at least 3 times a week at least 30 min at a time, up the amount of kegels I do (I've always done them to stay tight), and find relaxing me time. Before this advice, I was eating alot of fried foods, alot of junk, sweets etc. Now when I want fried, I eat grilled instead, when I want junk as a snack I try to find a healthy alternative, when I want a sweet I grab some fruit or a slimfast snack bar. I do at least 100 kegels per day, I work out 3 to 5 times per week, and I take at least 15 min or more daily for me time, with a kid, all the animals I have and a hubby that wants my time when he's off, that is difficult, but it can be done. I tell him to watch the kid for a few, I go take a hot bath and just relax, or I lay in bed listening to relaxing music and meditate, if you like books, read a book. So far I have been doing this a month or so and it's working! Also I was advised by a few people to take time for lovemaking as much as possible and even if I'm not in the mood initiate it with my hubby and I will get in the mood, what I do is just start kissing him, and we make out for like 15 min, this definitely gets me in the mood, then we either start foreplay or grab the lube and go at it. So far EVERYTIME I'm having an orgasm, sometimes it only takes 5 min, other times 15 or 20 min, but either way I get one. Now I use to get multiples. And the last time I got 2, so maybe it's improving. I think as mothers, wives, women with busy jobs, etc. we tend to forget how to take care of ourselves, and this causes us to screw ourselves sexually. Also I think part of my problem was before NB I took individual herbs and I had some nasty side effects and I think the loss of sexual desire was just one of them. So my suggestion would be if your diet is lacking, fix it, if you don't exercise enough exercise more, even if it's just jogging instead of walking everywhere you go, every little bit counts, if you don't take time to relax, start! you deserve it, don't tell yourself you don't have time, just do it, start doing kegels, that will help keep ya tight and help make you more sensitive. Also alot of my problem was while having sex my mind would wonder on everything else, just concentrate on the feelings you are getting, stop thinking about the bills, about if this and that, and is that going to be okay, just relax and let go. Hope this helps and good luck!
Oh also, routine in lovemaking can get boring, try to spice it up and mix it up a little. Also lingerie is not just for men to enjoy seeing, if you wear it and make yourself feel sexy, you will feel better too. I LOVE wearing it for my hubby cause it makes me feel good.
Kellynne, I'm a few years older than you and not yet hit the menopause. I've been taking progesterone only bc for years with no problems and barely have a period while I've been taking it. I've not had problems with lack of clit sensitivity and don't need to use lube but do find it more difficult now to have a vaginal orgasm, although I'm fine with a vibrator. Luckily hubby loves loads of foreplay and always makes sure I have an orgasm through oral sex before penetration but I still miss having a vaginal orgasm. I don't know if this is age related or whether my body has just got used to climaxing through clitoral stimulation or a vibrator and now needs this to reach orgasm. Hasn't helped with your problem sorry but just thought I'd add my experience as we're close in age!
T
tavia
Guest
just wanna clarify... i know my problem has been made worse by my health condition because my body attacks its self inc hormones, they can just go out of wack,,,
but progesterone bc after 6-8 years(cant remember exact) had really taken its toll, and this showed on my 1st set of hormone tests.
lol i also read that progesterone only bc called depo, is used in high doses to chemically castrate sex offenders, lol so ummm that cant be good can it.
i think u will have to try many things to get these feelings that you have lost back, but they will come back,
if its bc that has effected you then it will take time to get back to normal, exercise and plenty of water or detox etc could help this along, im going to do a yogurt and fruit cleasne with of course plenty of water, for as many days(up to 5) that i can manage, like anastrasia said, exercise to get the circulation going and nutrients pumping all over your bod.
and supplement with a good multivit with high dose of b vitamins-b12-b6 etc(these work wonders)
also think about any stresses you may have had but not realised how it was effecting you x
and just to let you know,, i bought some arginine for sexy time (lol) and it does work well energy wise and to give u a little sexy tingle
hope your ok :-*
but progesterone bc after 6-8 years(cant remember exact) had really taken its toll, and this showed on my 1st set of hormone tests.
lol i also read that progesterone only bc called depo, is used in high doses to chemically castrate sex offenders, lol so ummm that cant be good can it.
i think u will have to try many things to get these feelings that you have lost back, but they will come back,
if its bc that has effected you then it will take time to get back to normal, exercise and plenty of water or detox etc could help this along, im going to do a yogurt and fruit cleasne with of course plenty of water, for as many days(up to 5) that i can manage, like anastrasia said, exercise to get the circulation going and nutrients pumping all over your bod.
and supplement with a good multivit with high dose of b vitamins-b12-b6 etc(these work wonders)
also think about any stresses you may have had but not realised how it was effecting you x
and just to let you know,, i bought some arginine for sexy time (lol) and it does work well energy wise and to give u a little sexy tingle
hope your ok :-*
Thanks everyone! What helpful responses you have given.....
I actually *do* still have a normal sex drive, I just have problem reaching orgasm, and I never did before. I already do kegals.... I feel like I'm in pretty good shape, but because most of my exercise is outdoor stuff, I haven't been doing as much as I used to. The weather is finally getting nice again, so I will definitely get back in the swing of things.
I'm a full-time college student, plus I work, I'm a mother, and I'm newly divorced..... so yeah, my life is definitely stressful. I don't have hardly any down-time... I get up early and stay up late. So, maybe that has something to do with it too.
TT, I am familiar with Lupus, because I have a good friend with it. I have fibromyalgia, and so my body kind of attacks itself too. I imagine it plays a role in this, as well.
Does anyone know if wild yam cream is supposed to help with this? I keep thinking that I heard that somewhere, but I can't seem to remember for sure.
Thank you to everybody.... it really does help to know I'm not alone! And great suggestions and ideas I will be implementing.
I actually *do* still have a normal sex drive, I just have problem reaching orgasm, and I never did before. I already do kegals.... I feel like I'm in pretty good shape, but because most of my exercise is outdoor stuff, I haven't been doing as much as I used to. The weather is finally getting nice again, so I will definitely get back in the swing of things.
I'm a full-time college student, plus I work, I'm a mother, and I'm newly divorced..... so yeah, my life is definitely stressful. I don't have hardly any down-time... I get up early and stay up late. So, maybe that has something to do with it too.
TT, I am familiar with Lupus, because I have a good friend with it. I have fibromyalgia, and so my body kind of attacks itself too. I imagine it plays a role in this, as well.
Does anyone know if wild yam cream is supposed to help with this? I keep thinking that I heard that somewhere, but I can't seem to remember for sure.
Thank you to everybody.... it really does help to know I'm not alone! And great suggestions and ideas I will be implementing.
M
Mumma Bear
Guest
Hey Kellynne - chiming in late here sorry. I wonder with your cycle going a little odd lately that actually is a sign of early perimenopause. It's very difficult to diagnose perimenopause with hormone tests, particularly the start of it - a good doctor will actually listen to your symptoms. Declining testosterone can make the clit less sensitive - in fact, it can begin to shrink! A tiny bit of testosterone cream applied topically can fire things back up again. The pill can have quite a long lasting bad effect on your libido - I remember reading about a study a few years back that recorded a good percentage of women actually never got their mojo back.
ANyhoo - I have to recommend the testosterone cream if you can persuade your doc to prescribe it - the simple pleasures in life are the best and just by raising the topic here on the forum you've put that intent out there to get that simple pleasure back - best wishes!!!!!!!
ANyhoo - I have to recommend the testosterone cream if you can persuade your doc to prescribe it - the simple pleasures in life are the best and just by raising the topic here on the forum you've put that intent out there to get that simple pleasure back - best wishes!!!!!!!
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tavia
Guest
mumma bear, i may be getting some kinda test replacement/therapy, i have no clue what she will give me,,, what does the cream do exactly, ive read that it increases sensitivity to the clit but does it do anything for overal feeling ??
also a cream that u rub behind your thighs?? and patchs etc
im desperate right now and dont want the doc to fob me off with any rubbish, thats the only way i managed to get this far, docs kept telling me its all in my head and i need therapy,,, so annoying,,,, then they did my tests and saw that something wasnt right for my age....... i want to be able to come at her with some amount of knowledge
thanks
also a cream that u rub behind your thighs?? and patchs etc
im desperate right now and dont want the doc to fob me off with any rubbish, thats the only way i managed to get this far, docs kept telling me its all in my head and i need therapy,,, so annoying,,,, then they did my tests and saw that something wasnt right for my age....... i want to be able to come at her with some amount of knowledge
thanks
T
tavia
Guest
just to add.... high strengh maca extract liquid drops put directly under the tongue is a good booster, it makes your clit pulse and gives you a sexy buzz... if it does this to me and my libido is non existant then who knows what it can do for anyone with a good sex appitite ;D
not maca powder its gotta be the extract liquid drops.
not maca powder its gotta be the extract liquid drops.
I have this problem too :-[ can't say I've ever actually experienced an orgasm :-\
I don't have as many problems as you, just a lil stress I suppose but hmm the pill doesn't cause any drop in sex drive for me, I just never orgasm :-X what are kegals by the way?
Sorry if I'm stealing you're post kellynne :
I don't have as many problems as you, just a lil stress I suppose but hmm the pill doesn't cause any drop in sex drive for me, I just never orgasm :-X what are kegals by the way?
Sorry if I'm stealing you're post kellynne :
Thabai next time you're having a pee try and stop mid pee and those are your kegals, tightening and releasing these muscles regularly keeps your vagina nice and tight, particularly recommended after childbirth. A lot of women find their vagina's are looser after having children and intercourse not so pleasurable, tightening up these muscles means you can feel the penis inside you better and if you can manage to squeeze a few times while your partner is inside you all the better, he'll love it!! lol
Hmm well I've never had a child....
I do have endometriosis though but I've had injections for that and it's not bothering me at all at the moment... before my injections I just couldn't have sex because it was so painful and I would puke after about 10 minutes. Anyways yeah since my injections I'm a lot more sensitive but I still just don't orgasm... hmm I don't know if there's something wrong with me or if I'm just not relaxing enough :-\
I get a lot of kinda leg spasms haha when a guys going down on me where I just can't stop them from moving ??? don't know if that's normal and sorry if I'm going into too much detail here but yeah
I shall try the kegal's though haha I think I've done the squeezing while he's inside me by accident from excitement :-[
I do have endometriosis though but I've had injections for that and it's not bothering me at all at the moment... before my injections I just couldn't have sex because it was so painful and I would puke after about 10 minutes. Anyways yeah since my injections I'm a lot more sensitive but I still just don't orgasm... hmm I don't know if there's something wrong with me or if I'm just not relaxing enough :-\
I get a lot of kinda leg spasms haha when a guys going down on me where I just can't stop them from moving ??? don't know if that's normal and sorry if I'm going into too much detail here but yeah
I shall try the kegal's though haha I think I've done the squeezing while he's inside me by accident from excitement :-[
T
tavia
Guest
kegals r good all round, they will please both u and him....
wow u have never had the big O.... hmm y dont u get yourself a little clit vibrator(i dont like the mandingo part) the clit stimulator is amazing, you will probably spend a good few hours in your room on your own if u get one,,,,
my husband bought me my first 1 like 8 years ago.. he went upstairs to have a shower and i was like what the hell is he buying me this for.. and i thought it was gonna bore me to tears (it was a rampent rabbit vibrator)) anyway i put in the batteries while he was upstairs and turned it to the side so that i was only using the rabbit part(clit vibrator) and turned it on... oh lordy i couldnt beleive what happened, i used it 3 times b4 he came back.. ha ha.... they r crazy amazing things...... love em, anytime -anywhere u can orgasm
having an orgasm through penatration is a whole different game though,, it can be difficult... (but it can make u cry its that good)
hmm , i used to have so much fun,,, uuughhhh im miserable now..... see u later..... :'(
wow u have never had the big O.... hmm y dont u get yourself a little clit vibrator(i dont like the mandingo part) the clit stimulator is amazing, you will probably spend a good few hours in your room on your own if u get one,,,,
my husband bought me my first 1 like 8 years ago.. he went upstairs to have a shower and i was like what the hell is he buying me this for.. and i thought it was gonna bore me to tears (it was a rampent rabbit vibrator)) anyway i put in the batteries while he was upstairs and turned it to the side so that i was only using the rabbit part(clit vibrator) and turned it on... oh lordy i couldnt beleive what happened, i used it 3 times b4 he came back.. ha ha.... they r crazy amazing things...... love em, anytime -anywhere u can orgasm
having an orgasm through penatration is a whole different game though,, it can be difficult... (but it can make u cry its that good)
hmm , i used to have so much fun,,, uuughhhh im miserable now..... see u later..... :'(
Anastasia916
New Member
Thabai, there is a thread all about a guy asking how to give his wife an orgasm as they were both virgins when they got married and she isn't achieving orgasms, there is alot of helpful info on there on this subject, be warned, I get graphic on this subject. http://www.noogleberry.com/forum/index.php/topic,1614.0.html read through that. No woman deserves not to have an orgasm, it may just be that what works for others, doesn't work for you. We are all different, you have to find what works for you. Personally, I have to have clit stimulation and penetration to orgasm most the time. Just oral doesn't work for me, no matter how good the guy is. If he licks my clit and uses two fingers at the same time, then yes I can. If it's only penetration I can't orgasm unless it's in doggystyle, mainly cause in doggy it hits my "g-spot" also known as the female prostate. The g-spot will turn into your best friend, but stimulating it to feel good to you always varies. Fingers don't stimulate it for me, only certain positions in sex do, and when I use a vibe it has to be angle right and not moved back and forth fast, but very slowly. I learn how to squirt doing this. Now all that being said, a clit orgasm is different then a vaginal one, and a squirting orgasm is different than both, and an anal orgasm is different than all of them too. Everything has it's perks. As far as you hurting during sex, this could be because you are not getting wet enough, if doing foreplay for a while before sex doesn't fix this, try using some lube. I use it sometimes, there is no shame in it, that's what it's made for! The first time I had an orgasm it wasn't from a guy, it was from masturbating. You have to learn to orgasm before a male can give you one. It's a state of mind you have to put yourself in, if I don't put myself in that state, I don't orgasm, simple as that. My first orgasm was when I was 13, I was still a virgin (well what I considered myself to be) and an older friend of mine who was 17 told me to do this, while running bath water, put yourself under the faucet, allowing your vagina and clit to be hit by the running water, adjust the temperature and pressure of water to what feels good to you, lay there and relax, and EVERYTIME I can have an orgasm. Sometimes I have to "hump" the water, but either way it works. I have a big butt, so I have to put my feet on the sides of the tub, and hold myself up with legs spread vagina under the stream of water.
And yes kegels are what Cleo said, that muscle tension, you can pulse it over and over or hold it for however long you can hold it and release, either way that's a rep. I do at least 100 reps per day. As I said before on giving yourself an orgasm before a guy can, this is also true for any other type of sexual thing. Clit orgasms, vaginal orgasm, squirting, and anal orgasms (for the brave lol but this has to be done very gently as the ass has to be "trained" to be penetrated without causing harm). I don't do alot of anal in the sense of sex cause to be honest my husband is too big for that, but I do sometimes stick vibrating eggs in there. But when doing that, you have to be sure the rectum is clean and you don't have to "go". So sometimes I don't do that till I already went that day and I do an enema to clean. The vibrating egg is awesome, it stimulates the rectum for me, giving me anal stimulation, anal orgasms, while I'm getting other orgasms from the vagina and clit while having sex, hubby loves it cause it gives him a vibrating vagina lol. He said it's like a male toy but 100 times better lol. Now as far as clit stimulation during sex, if he's on top, he needs to "grind" you, like dirty dancing but during sex lol, if you are on top, don't go up and down, but rather back and forth, or you can combine them going up and down and back and forth. I like being on top because you know what you are feeling, you know what speed and such feels good to you. And 9 out of 10 guys will not mind this lol. As far as doing doggystyle, if you need clit stimulation, use your fingers to rub it or ask him to reach around and do it. Another option is a butterfly. I have a butterfly and a dragonfly. Okay a butterfly is a vibrator that straps on to your legs like a harness, kinda how you step into a rock climbing harness, and it vibrates the clit, you can wear this during intercourse too. A dragonfly has the same thing as a butterfly but it also has an anal bead "tail" you wrap it around and use it anally, and it vibrates the clit and rectum at the same time. And yes I have wore this while having intercourse. Now as far as teaching yourself how to squirt I could go into more detail about this if you want, but I have to warn you, it's MESSY!!! Squirting is a female ejaculate, it comes from the female prostate or "g-spot" and it can be a cup or so of liquid. So if in bed, it's best to have plenty of extra sheets to change, and a waterproof mattress cover. After teaching myself to do this, per my hubby's suggestion, now everytime I have sex pretty much, I squirt lol. I normally have other types of orgasms first, then I squirt at the end, after squirting I'm done completely lol kind of like how most guys are done after cumming. Same difference here. I have 3 water proof mattress covers to change out, and I have like 10 sets of sheets lol, so yea you are warned. To start I would do it laying in a bathtub so it can go down the drain. It's a liquid that has a consistency of water, it's not like a males ejaculate at all. Okay I can go on and on on this subject, I swear one of these days I'm going to write a book lol. I use to think this type of information was common knowledge, now I'm learning it's definitely not. I think one day I'm going to write a book on all the areas of female orgasm, maybe even one on males as well, yes I know in depth about males too lol. I know how to "milk a prostate" on a male, etc. All from researching on medical sites online, learning the science behind it, then reading other info on how to perform it, then trying it. Basically you and your partner needs to have an open mind, try new things and see what works for you.
Okay now that I wrote a novel here lol. If you need to know anymore just let me know.
And yes kegels are what Cleo said, that muscle tension, you can pulse it over and over or hold it for however long you can hold it and release, either way that's a rep. I do at least 100 reps per day. As I said before on giving yourself an orgasm before a guy can, this is also true for any other type of sexual thing. Clit orgasms, vaginal orgasm, squirting, and anal orgasms (for the brave lol but this has to be done very gently as the ass has to be "trained" to be penetrated without causing harm). I don't do alot of anal in the sense of sex cause to be honest my husband is too big for that, but I do sometimes stick vibrating eggs in there. But when doing that, you have to be sure the rectum is clean and you don't have to "go". So sometimes I don't do that till I already went that day and I do an enema to clean. The vibrating egg is awesome, it stimulates the rectum for me, giving me anal stimulation, anal orgasms, while I'm getting other orgasms from the vagina and clit while having sex, hubby loves it cause it gives him a vibrating vagina lol. He said it's like a male toy but 100 times better lol. Now as far as clit stimulation during sex, if he's on top, he needs to "grind" you, like dirty dancing but during sex lol, if you are on top, don't go up and down, but rather back and forth, or you can combine them going up and down and back and forth. I like being on top because you know what you are feeling, you know what speed and such feels good to you. And 9 out of 10 guys will not mind this lol. As far as doing doggystyle, if you need clit stimulation, use your fingers to rub it or ask him to reach around and do it. Another option is a butterfly. I have a butterfly and a dragonfly. Okay a butterfly is a vibrator that straps on to your legs like a harness, kinda how you step into a rock climbing harness, and it vibrates the clit, you can wear this during intercourse too. A dragonfly has the same thing as a butterfly but it also has an anal bead "tail" you wrap it around and use it anally, and it vibrates the clit and rectum at the same time. And yes I have wore this while having intercourse. Now as far as teaching yourself how to squirt I could go into more detail about this if you want, but I have to warn you, it's MESSY!!! Squirting is a female ejaculate, it comes from the female prostate or "g-spot" and it can be a cup or so of liquid. So if in bed, it's best to have plenty of extra sheets to change, and a waterproof mattress cover. After teaching myself to do this, per my hubby's suggestion, now everytime I have sex pretty much, I squirt lol. I normally have other types of orgasms first, then I squirt at the end, after squirting I'm done completely lol kind of like how most guys are done after cumming. Same difference here. I have 3 water proof mattress covers to change out, and I have like 10 sets of sheets lol, so yea you are warned. To start I would do it laying in a bathtub so it can go down the drain. It's a liquid that has a consistency of water, it's not like a males ejaculate at all. Okay I can go on and on on this subject, I swear one of these days I'm going to write a book lol. I use to think this type of information was common knowledge, now I'm learning it's definitely not. I think one day I'm going to write a book on all the areas of female orgasm, maybe even one on males as well, yes I know in depth about males too lol. I know how to "milk a prostate" on a male, etc. All from researching on medical sites online, learning the science behind it, then reading other info on how to perform it, then trying it. Basically you and your partner needs to have an open mind, try new things and see what works for you.
Okay now that I wrote a novel here lol. If you need to know anymore just let me know.
I already have one of those clit stimulators but tbh I've never used it :-\ never masturbate hehe... I think I shall try it lol sounds fun
Hmm I'll also start kegaling and Ana I have a friend who can do that squirting thing but she's been able to do it since she started having sex, she must be able to really relax.
Hmm I'll also start kegaling and Ana I have a friend who can do that squirting thing but she's been able to do it since she started having sex, she must be able to really relax.
Anastasia916
New Member
Thabai, ANY woman can squirt, some do it right away yes, others like myself have to "teach" themselves to do it. Reason being is because it does come out the urethra so you feel as if it's peeing, but it's not. So women while orgasming may think of it as "peeing themselves" so they hold it back. But it's not. It is not urine in any way shape or form. I have read many medical sites on this, just google what is female ejaculate? or where does it come from? etc. It comes from the female prostate. The female prostate is located right behind the urethra, it is a small round organ, when a female is sexually stimulated, it fills with liquid, then normally, when a female has her big climax, just like males, it ejaculates. Think of it like this, males ejaculate out of their urethrae as well. So it is perfectly natural.
The liquid that is created in the female prostate is not urine, it is a completely different liquid that is made up of a few things, I forgot exactly but a quick google search would give the answer. It did take me a while to not hold back, relax and just let it happen, as it does feel like you are about to pee yourself at first. But once you learn to relax and just let it happen, it's a completely new experience. Now, some women when they squirt can shoot it across a room lol then there are women like me who don't project it. Mine kind of slowly gushes or pours out. Either way it's normal and there is nothing wrong with how you do it.
There are different techniques to learn how to squirt and what works for one woman, doesn't for another. But before you go trying this, it is VERY important that you clean yourself down their thoroughly everyday. Make sure you have good urethral health, I suggest a glass of cranberry juice at least weekly. If you are like me and don't enjoy the tart taste of cranberry, they do make cranberry juice tablets, I take one per day and it's equal to a glass of cranberry juice. They are made by the same company that makes the pill that gets rid of UTI. Now all of this is important because, women who squirt are more acceptable to UTI's. And if any of you have had them, you know they are a pain in the ass and no picnic. I got them really bad as a kid for a while till I found out I was allergic to a certain ingredient in some soaps. I have gotten one after learning to squirt till I read that squirting can cause them if you don't use good hygiene, don't drink a good amount of water, and it's good to get cranberry in to prevent as well. Ever since taking the cranberry daily it has prevented mine.
Now as far as technique, it really depends on you as an individual. Personally, I can squirt in only one of two ways... using a vibrator, sometimes ones made for the g-spot, or just a regular one, I angle it in a way that it hits the prostate aka g-spot. Hold it there and move it back and forth very slowly going on what feels best, now remember if you feel as if you are about to pee but at the same time it feel orgasmic, you are doing it right. Just let go and don't hold back. The other way I can is if I'm having sex with my hubby, it's in certain positions... when I'm on top and grinding I can, or if I'm on bottom (I'm very flexible so some ladies may not be able to do this) I pull my legs all the way past my head, and he pushes his body down on my legs, for some reason this puts him in an angle that hits it. Also my hubby does have a curve in his penis, so that might have something to do with it as well. Just experiment with positions till you find what works for you. Now most women can squirt by everything I said, or maybe not, but many of them can just by using fingers. I personally don't like masturbating with fingers, never have, but if it's your thing, stick your fingers inside you, about 2 inches in, give or take, you will feel a round type of ball feeling thing in there, it will be on the inside wall nearest your urethra area. If you rub on that, you can squirt, well some ladies can. Rub it in whichever way feels best to you. Again all this is individual.
If you are married or with someone, make sure they are open to this, otherwise... once you learn to squirt and start enjoying it, trust me it's hard to hold it back after that lol. It's kind of like once you are sexually active and start enjoying it you crave it, same principals here. I actually have problems holding it back now. If I don't do it during, I have to rush to the bathroom or find a towel and it comes out right after sex. So you should make sure your partner is open to this. My hubby likes that I squirt. He was the reason I tried in the first place, cause he watched porn where girls did it and he found it hot. Again he's one of those guys that gets his jollies by seeing women have orgasms and enjoying themselves. So he likes that I squirt. He has gotten me to squirt using a vibe and while licking my clit with his mouth and it went all in his mouth lol but he loved it.
There ya go Cleo lol another novel for ya. Any other questions let me know.
The liquid that is created in the female prostate is not urine, it is a completely different liquid that is made up of a few things, I forgot exactly but a quick google search would give the answer. It did take me a while to not hold back, relax and just let it happen, as it does feel like you are about to pee yourself at first. But once you learn to relax and just let it happen, it's a completely new experience. Now, some women when they squirt can shoot it across a room lol then there are women like me who don't project it. Mine kind of slowly gushes or pours out. Either way it's normal and there is nothing wrong with how you do it.
There are different techniques to learn how to squirt and what works for one woman, doesn't for another. But before you go trying this, it is VERY important that you clean yourself down their thoroughly everyday. Make sure you have good urethral health, I suggest a glass of cranberry juice at least weekly. If you are like me and don't enjoy the tart taste of cranberry, they do make cranberry juice tablets, I take one per day and it's equal to a glass of cranberry juice. They are made by the same company that makes the pill that gets rid of UTI. Now all of this is important because, women who squirt are more acceptable to UTI's. And if any of you have had them, you know they are a pain in the ass and no picnic. I got them really bad as a kid for a while till I found out I was allergic to a certain ingredient in some soaps. I have gotten one after learning to squirt till I read that squirting can cause them if you don't use good hygiene, don't drink a good amount of water, and it's good to get cranberry in to prevent as well. Ever since taking the cranberry daily it has prevented mine.
Now as far as technique, it really depends on you as an individual. Personally, I can squirt in only one of two ways... using a vibrator, sometimes ones made for the g-spot, or just a regular one, I angle it in a way that it hits the prostate aka g-spot. Hold it there and move it back and forth very slowly going on what feels best, now remember if you feel as if you are about to pee but at the same time it feel orgasmic, you are doing it right. Just let go and don't hold back. The other way I can is if I'm having sex with my hubby, it's in certain positions... when I'm on top and grinding I can, or if I'm on bottom (I'm very flexible so some ladies may not be able to do this) I pull my legs all the way past my head, and he pushes his body down on my legs, for some reason this puts him in an angle that hits it. Also my hubby does have a curve in his penis, so that might have something to do with it as well. Just experiment with positions till you find what works for you. Now most women can squirt by everything I said, or maybe not, but many of them can just by using fingers. I personally don't like masturbating with fingers, never have, but if it's your thing, stick your fingers inside you, about 2 inches in, give or take, you will feel a round type of ball feeling thing in there, it will be on the inside wall nearest your urethra area. If you rub on that, you can squirt, well some ladies can. Rub it in whichever way feels best to you. Again all this is individual.
If you are married or with someone, make sure they are open to this, otherwise... once you learn to squirt and start enjoying it, trust me it's hard to hold it back after that lol. It's kind of like once you are sexually active and start enjoying it you crave it, same principals here. I actually have problems holding it back now. If I don't do it during, I have to rush to the bathroom or find a towel and it comes out right after sex. So you should make sure your partner is open to this. My hubby likes that I squirt. He was the reason I tried in the first place, cause he watched porn where girls did it and he found it hot. Again he's one of those guys that gets his jollies by seeing women have orgasms and enjoying themselves. So he likes that I squirt. He has gotten me to squirt using a vibe and while licking my clit with his mouth and it went all in his mouth lol but he loved it.
There ya go Cleo lol another novel for ya. Any other questions let me know.
So are you saying Anastasia that generally women need to have their g-spot stimulated in order to squirt? I was having a session on my own recently just using a clit vibe and felt like I was going to pee as I came and I just went with the feeling and assumed I'd peed myself a bit. Could that have been squirting if there was nothing inside me to stimulate the g-spot?
Anastasia916
New Member
The prostate is behind the urethra but can be stimulated by the clit as well cause pressure from the outside can push it some, I've heard of some women squirting by clit stimulation alone. But yea, squirt will not smell like urine, it will smell like something different, that's how you can tell. As I said, every female squirts differently if you can do it with clit stimulation, all the power to ya lol.