DJ's winding path

[dminer84]

Week 006

Weight: 203lbs
Hip: 40.75"
Waist: 37.50"
Under: 38.25"
Bust: 44"
Overbust: 42"

Another full week of noogling twice a day. The growing aches seem to have subsided for now and my right breast has really begun to change shape finally. It is showing the same signs as the left did nearly 4 months ago where the side is building up and projecting forward. The repositioning of the nipple and rounding should hopefully follow over the next couple of months like the left did.

My noogling experience this week has been exciting. I'm more confident about what I'm doing, attaching is a breeze now and I'm squeaking over halfway in the XL cups (my breasts look huge in there). The surprise has been the sudden spike in length of swelling -- atleast I think it is swelling. I try to noogle about every 12ish hours and for the last 2 days I've still been quite swollen. In addition, there isn't a big difference in the fresh out of the cups and hours later (mostly the lack of water-engorged skin and tension). I don't feel any pain (except workout-style pec muscle discomfort) and no coloration issues I can detect -- they are a bit warmer than usual. So I am really puzzled as to what is happening.

It is frustrating the swelling doesn't register in the tape measure (I did reach 45" out of the cups about a day ago). However, it is clearly visible and decidedly a 40A (even my bra is starting to leave marks from the underwires on the sides when I wear it for a couple of hours). Happily (and sadly), I got the nipple budding protrusion going on again (when the area around the nipple juts out a bit in front of the breast). I don't care for the appearance but I've come to see it as a sign of impending protrusion increases. I am finally getting used to having my breasts touching (about 1" now) when I'm sleeping on my sides but the big bulge on the sides when I'm on my back is still strange (and it is getting bigger too). Of course, I'm continuing to cope with small adjustments in body mechanics which is always fun to cherish when I notice.

I have ordered a couple cheap 40B bras to help encourage me (and frustrate me ) but I think I'm rapidly approaching a decision point in the coming months. It does seem silly to feel self-conscious about impending "sight-lyness" of my breasts and eventual bra usage.

Really, I very badly want to have very large breasts and so this visibility and therefore difference *will* happen. I feel I will get tons of stares and even unkind comments (like acquaintances urging me to get a reduction *sigh*). I suppose it boils down to the people who will be aware of the "before" and "after" me. They will be the ones most likely to gossip, be unkind, and generally embarrassing with awkward intimate questions. This situation is what I dread the most. But tt seems to come to confidence. If I just show up someday obviously wearing a bra with notable boobage and act like this is perfectly normal and they are the freaks to be "worried about it" then most people will be intimidated and keep quiet. Naturally, I will wish to handle it more gracefully due to uncomfortable/shocked/angry people are the worst to be around (try it at work and see how life goes). I guess this is where a peer group would be helpful. But I'm ranting now...

DJ

 

[dminer84]

This morning I awoke to find very squishy, empty feeling breasts. So far, all my pumping has resulted in very little swelling but I'm expanding bigger than even in the domes. All week I've been getting decent results. Anyone experienced anything like this?

DJ

 

[dminer84]

Week 007

Weight: 202lbs
Hip: 40.75"
Waist: 37.25"
Under: 38"
Bust: 44"
Overbust: 42"

Well, I think noogling is becoming a habit for me. It is just becoming part of my of routines and I don't have to think so much about it. I'm definitely hoping I can start just "doing" rather than "do and compare" which causes frustration for me. I am happy to report that noogling is becoming quite a pleasant sensation since my pecs and skin seem to be coping much better now. I've not had water engorged skin at all this week and no pain around the rim. I have found that noogling on my back is even more comfortable. Without all the discomforts to distract, I found I can feel my breasts sliding into the domes and pressing on the sides and that's oddly pleasurable.

My right breast continues its shape change and has become the size leader now. From time to time, my breasts have had the hint of "drape" rather just small mounds (especially after noogling) and it is such a unique feeling. This is one feature I'm eagarly waiting to develop but I had thought it would be much further in the future. We'll see if it is just my imagination in the next 6 months.

This week I also started Natureday's breast cream since my skin got intolerant of my homemade herbal topical. Until that point, I saw some of my best growth because of the topical in the beginning. It was that growth which helped make me look flat chested rather than the concave appearance I had before. I'm glad I'm not strictly flat chested anymore and I fill my 40A reasonably well lately (no more gaps) -- it definitely is not satisfying however.

I've also been venturing out more with my bra on now. I don't need the support but I need to get over this self-consciousness and odd fear of being "found out". To me, the bra just makes the boobs scream out to the world, "look at me" because they are protruding forward. They are forward so much that just blowing my nose will have a bunch of breast between my arms and squeezed. It is a very odd sensation. Anyway, I want to get over this problem now when everything is small because it would be worse if waited for B or C status. Now if I can just figure out how to soften the bra outline under shirts.

DJ

 

[Kristin00]

I agree, noogling is getting to be a habit for me too. I've been doing it around the same time every day for about 2 1/2 weeks and I think it is starting to just be part of my routine. I enjoy that time actually, it's quiet and somewhat peaceful compared to the business of the rest of my life.

 

[dminer84]

Indeed, it is becoming a stronger habit because if I slip on time.. I feel guilty or out of sorts. Since I have such a large goal I will be noogling for years to come (jeane, MsTetra style ). Now with habit comes the "just do it" phase and don't worry about the small stuff.

As for peace, I think we make our peace rather than finding it (hence my mental efforts to change). But I'm glad you're enjoying it; that's so helpful.

DJ

 

[dminer84]

Week 008

Weight: 201lbs
Hip: 40.75"
Waist: 37"
Under: 38"
Bust: 44"
Overbust: 42"

I'm happy to see I have been able to maintain consistency for a several weeks now. I would say my problem is the weekend since it is vastly unstructured. I still get my minimum time of about 90 minutes but I really would like to go longer. However, I usually have things to do and it seems I turn really red at 2 hours with high pressure thus I stop for fear of injury.

The draping "hint" I reported last week is continue to happen more often and once when I swelled a bit larger than usual it kinda happened especially when bending a bit to look down. My breast sides seems to be hot spots for growth as I noticed hours later they are fuller (pressing on my inner arms now). Indeed after noogling, that spot is huge by my standards and I have to actually reach over my breasts to massage that area now since reaching across just mashes boobs and my arm isn't quite long enough anymore... !

My breasts are tender lately (cream perhaps?) and I made the mistake of releasing my breast sides from an upward pull. To my shock, they flopped... seriously flopped and jiggled hard... and hurt.. It was a pain that I wasn't prepared for... I have a new appreciation now. I personally love watching breasts bounce and flop around but girlfriends had said it can hurt alot.... now I understand.

In fact, I was reading a blog post in Breast Life about gynecomastia men and bras. These men were complaining of awful pain from stairs and driving in their cars with only B cup sizes. It seems exaggerated to me but with my tender breasts, I have found taking stairs require a bit of care these days. With a good bounce, I definitely get a hit of pain in the entire breast.

But I'm not going to let these realities scare me off growing my own large breasts. I have realized with male's tougher/thicker skin, my breasts will likely be more dense than a woman's and thus heavier and I may never quite have that look of a woman's. Ah well, can't win them all but we'll see how things shape up since a D or more will definitely overpower male skin eventually.

DJ

 

[Chris54]

Afternoon DJ. I was reading in another post that you were trying to have fully functioning breasts. Does this mean you are trying to lactate? If so, did you find a specific protocol or just making up your own based on information you can find? On another note, you mentioned having a lot of side boob. The Bradelis bras push your side boob into the cup. There are other, cheaper bras that do the same thing. Check out bras on ebay that have side support boning. These can be obtained for less than $15 with free shipping. Warners also has a new bra that keeps the side boob in the cup. I don't remember the name of it, but it is a new style.

 

[dminer84]

Actually, I did find a specific protocol and I do wish to lactate as it causes breast tissue to fully mature (stage 4/5 development from Tanner's) and male nipples will improve quite a bit as I have read. But it will likely be another 1-2 years before my breasts have developed this ability. However, I have been doing my own research to support my understanding and things seem to be lining up. I can feel the duct ganglia behind the nipple (mostly left atm) from time to time and glands forming; so I am hopeful.

I'll check out your suggestions because every bra I've tried so far ends up with this huge bulge on the side or up in my armpits (a fun feeling :b). I'm not crazy about boning as it seems to never be positioned well for me or too short but I've definitely haven't tried all bras.

DJ

 

[Chris54]

Is there any way someone could talk you into divulging this information, or is it like the dog in the Bushes bean commercials? I have looked but did not come across a specific protocol. The use of domperidone is supposed to help. I would appreciate any info you may have, as I also would like to induce lactation. Thanks DJ
Chris

 

[dminer84]

I get the impression you're looking for a chemical/hormonal way to induce? That path is pretty easy to find in any medical text about the hormone changes around the time a woman gives birth. However until the plumbing and glands are in place -- it won't work (blusherr accidentally did this and then didn't respond well to the event and prolonged her engorgement -- OUCH!). So the basics of developing this ability is to emulate a woman's menstrual cycle in a male body as best as you can.

When I've gotten to that point, this is a matter of trying how women induce lactation -- gentle simulation of the areola in an overlaying circular but rhythmic pattern that ends with a gentle compression of the main sack around the nipple to the chest wall (not a pinch but a pressing to your ribs). This has to be done about 10-20 minutes per breast 5 to 8 times daily and it can take upto 8 weeks of this. Now this will be the hard part.. finding time to do it (especially at work!!).

I'm basically following the Flat to Fem program with my own research.

DJ

 

[dminer84]

Week 009

No stats measured

I continue to pump and my breasts have been tender for a few days with aching nipples. I've managed to lay on my side with the domes on for the first time and got huge swelling. So, I'm gonna try it again soon. However, I'm beginning to see male NBE is quite a bit different than female, especially from starting flat. Thus, I'm going to changing things up when the new domes arrive. The XXL I got are very large in the opening but not deep enough IMHO. Also, I'm sorry to say the quality of the manufacturing is subpar. They should have never been shipped. So I'll have to work on them before they can be used safely.

In any case, I am seeing a pattern in males with good, natural growth that seems to come from starting small and slowly building the mound around the nipple. Then gradually increasing the mound size with larger domes over time. With my own development (pre-NB) I had noted I was growing a mound but it was a bit lopesided (bottoms was shallow). Pumping has made the mound a bit more lopesided because I think I'm too high and I got very large domes for my tiny breasts.

So in a few weeks, I'll try starting from small and correcting the lopeside mounds.

DJ

 

[dminer84]

I know I just did status updates. It seems I've been on a swelling streak and I really don't understand how or why. I pumping twice a day which my morning session being quite short (30 minutes). These morning session rarely were special but they have been really big for the last few days. It is fun going to work with my shirts getting tighter in the bust.

But my evening sessions are just surprising me. In 60 minutes, I just feel and look really big but I'm scared to measure and find it is all my imagination.

Tonight, I managed to do another session lying on my side and got a big result again. It actually worried me that I had hurt myself because they were so huge and heavy to me (larger than the 1st time). It only lasted about 30 minutes and I returned to my typical swelling. Right now, my nipples are just aching something awful. I'm still uneasy and I hope I'm doing everything ok.



I guess it isn't in my imagination, even in my typical swelling (now) I'm measuring 45" at the nipples and I won't be surprised the big stuff would be close to 46". Still scary stuff for me.

 

[Kristin00]

Wow that is some good swelling! You must be doing something that's working for you!

 

[dminer84]

Oh my lard! I'm wearing a 40B bra and it fits way better than that 40A. I'm not falling out of it, no armpit bulge and it doesn't creek when I move (from the underwires). I can reach far for things without falling out! True, there is a bit of room to grow into the cups but it isn't huge gaping holes either. The real relief is my side boob isn't stuffed in there. Seriously, has that been my problem this last month or so... I just don't believe it. I haven't even pumped tonight... I can't believe it!

After getting some huge swellings, I ordered a size up for my current bra to compare in the same scale and I just got them today. For grins, I tried both on (black and apricot colors) and now I'm in shock how well they fit. I don't look remotely like a B to me... maybe these things run small.. Am I gonna have to order a C to test those swellings?! I must be doing something wrong....

 

[dminer84]

Week 010

No stats measured

This has been a rough week for me but I've managed to keep pumping except yesterday I took a day off for the first time in weeks. I'm not looking forward to next week but I can't avoid it and I'm so emotionally drained. I will miss my cat Sasha but I can't endure watching her suffer anymore. I fear I will falter badly in my NBE efforts. I will stay with her to the last moment but this always destroys me for a few weeks but I will endure it so she is never alone. It is what I want in my final moment so I will give regardless of the cost.

Sorry for the depressing update but it is where I am and I will not deny it.

DJ

 

[iwilldothis]

Dj I'm so sorry to hear about your cat Sasha. I myself have a cat and I absolutely adore him and understand how you are feeling. I know it's really hard and I think a few days off is fine and some people see more growth after breaks. I hope you keep your spirits up.

 

[Kristin00]

DJ - so sorry for what you are going through with your cat. That must be really difficult for you, and would definitely make it hard to focus on anything else. Hopefully when you are ready to get back to pumping the break will have done you good, as I know it does for some people. I'll say a prayer for you today and will be thinking of you this coming week.

 

[dminer84]

Week 011

No stats measured

I continue to pump and keep my dream in front of me so I can keep going. It seems my swelling continue to grow in size but I am back to not seeing any changes in the "normal" states. My current 40B is starting to leave marks in my skin like the A cup.

I've ordered a few new bras from my favorite maker, Goddess. When I was playing around with big forms, I discovered Goddess and fell in love. But they cater to plus sizes and very busty ladies. Thus, I am only now getting close enough to wear their smallest bras. I think my current bra is running small so I got myself a 40B and 40C and I hope I'm not in for big reality check.

I've been trying to lengthen my sessions but I've had to reduce pressure because my skin just can't take it for long of time. It seems to be working out so far but the swelling attributes are changing. For example, my breasts are getting fuller and softer swellings and the hint of that "orb" I love so much on the ladies is present. Yesterday, I got about 5 hours pumping spread over the day and my breasts were so heavy and full that I had minor draping when I was sitting. A very odd and unique sensation. I just don't know if the longer times+lower pressures is the key or just part of the swelling progression.

This summer might be more challenging than I expected. I honestly didn't expect pumping produce such swelling in me so soon. With a t-shirt, bra, and C cup swellings, I may pass the limit of people's "ignore radar". I could get larger t-shirts I suppose but I'm of mixed feelings on this.

At least in the US & UK, I'm getting the impression sexual form and roles are further evolving but these are usually the most violent times as fear and hatred will run wild. It seems I'm going to be involved in the change somehow... lol

DJ

 

[dminer84]

A little update...

I have posted a few times about my uncertainty and worries about reaching my goals and how having big breasts could spell rough times.

Today, I am going to retract those doubts. I will reach and exceed my D goal and this will only improve my life and relationships. I am allowed to feel the fear of change but I will not let it take mastery of me. I am shaping my thoughts and actions to reach these states. I do not know when or exactly how but today, I say, I will reach them.

Tonight, I had a powerful reminder what action and patience will do. I looked at a goal bra I purchased back in early January 2014. It has felt like a lot of time has passed but truly it has only been 2 months.

When I tried that lovely bra, my breast didn't even protrude over the underwire support. I have now tried that bra on again. I'm wearing a 40B regularly and increasing my pumping time (4-5 hours over the day). Today, I found my 40B to snug and my sides bulging like my 40A did. I have compression marks after wearing it for a few hours.

In a fit of insanity, I found that ole goal bra no so huge. My breasts were lying in the cups and touching material. Indeed, I was far from fitting it but I was actually taking space in it and I couldn't mash the cups down completely. I am only ~1.5 hands from fitting... key word, "only"! Two months ago, I could easily put both hands in that cup and have wiggle room still. I was nearly defeated when I tried that bra feeling like it was impossibe originally but today, it seems not only possible but certain to happen now.

... and it is a 42C plunge bra (40D when I get there).

I just had to share this moment.

DJ

 

[dminer84]

I got my pile of domes today. I got all the sizes now except XS (including the nipple domes). So, I'm ready to experiment.

Since I started on the XLs, my perceptive is probably skewed. I have the S domes on me now. All I can say, they are so cute and tiny. I was thinking I'd do an insta-fill on them but wow does the pressure ramp up fast in these things. I am filling 3/4 before my nipples start yelling, "hey! hey! hey!" (in Fat Albert's voice). I still have lots of breast tissue outside but this is mostly about forming the central mound where I'm underdeveloped. I really want that "orb" the ladies take for granted.

I'm doing 7:2 on them as my nipples have let me know the dynamics are very different. But I must say, wow. Just in 20 minutes, my breast shape has improved so much. The double mound effect is a bit strange but I have to start somewhere, right?

I'm wondering if I should do mediums too or wait like jamiemoorehead suggested (even jeane said something similar).

Wish me luck.

DJ