help me, she has cancer

[tavia]

my 10 year old sister has been diagnosed with non hodgkin's lymphoma , he body is wriddled with cancer from head to toe,
my mum said she woke up in the morning and a new lump was on her ankle, the cancer is agressive and is growing OVERNIGHT?????

shes in hospital now and starts her chemo on monday, and shes having radiation therapy aswell,
one minute im fine then the next im cracking up, i dont know how to pull myself together,

my sister is such a sweet girl and sooo loving it breaks my heart to think i might lose her, im trying to keep my faith up and stay strong for her, but im terrified

im sorry if ive been posting alot lthe last day or so, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, but its helping me keep my mind from wondering off and thinking bad things,

ive read that cheomo like agressive cancers and shrinks them much more easily but if the agressive type comes back then its hard to treat,,,
my mum will be heart broken and i feel like my family will be falling apart, ive got lupus my mums brother died my mums dad died of cancer i dont have a dad, and if anything happens to my sister then i feel like my nan will give up and my mum will just be dead inside...

my husband says to keep the faith, keep positive and im trying hard to do this, i dont wanna be scared, but then i think of her face my heart feels like some1 is squeezing it..

im going to go and buy her some head scalfs and some hot chocolate and just bits and pieces just to lighten the feeling when i go and see her so i dont cry.
shes quiet doesnt want to eat or drink and is skin and bone, and shes in a ward with babys who have cancer and they have all lost there hair and are crying for there mummys, its heart breaking.
i feel guilty when i smile or feel happy in anyway, but im going to try my very best to stay positive and happy in front of her, i know it will help her stay strong and want to fight this.

xx thanks 4 reading and excuse any weird posting i do from here on,,, it makes me forget for a while whenever im on my own xx

 

[Anastasia916]

Your husband is right, it is best to stay positive, I know it's hard, but if you can stay strong it will give her hope. If she sees you breaking, it will break her more. My grandmother died from cancer, but she was also old, she had cancer in the bladder originally, then it spread, they gave her 3 months to live, she lived I believe almost 2 years after that. I have met cancer survivors, and it is possible, no matter how grim the situation that she can pull through it, but she has to stay positive and she has to fight it. But unfortunately, when it's our time to go, we will go. I believe sometimes good people die to help those that love them learn to be stronger, learn to appreciate their lives more, and learn not to take life for granted. And that's why I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason. I really hope she pulls through, I will be sending positive energy your way. *BIG HUGS* just be strong for her.

 

[sofia1]

so sorry TT. yes i agree, be as strong as you can it can really help to hold positivity in a very difficult situation. you have no reason at all to feel guilt, everyone has their own path in life and just be there for her and your family as much as you can like it sounds like you already are. also do what you need to dispel your feelings sweetie to take care of yourself so you can be there for her. i too will be sending positive energies. xx

 

[nik1]

Well, how is your little sister feeling? Is she scared? If she's ok then you should be ok with her. Did the doc explain her odds of making it through chemotherapy? Luckily modern medicine for all cancer types is yeilding positive results.
I'm really sorry for what your going through TT, but you know we're all here to lend our ears, and support.

 

[nilly19]

Hi TT, yes I did notice you were posting more than usual, but didn't think much of it until now. I admire you very much for being so strong and coping with this, I also admire your (probably very beautiful) young sister..I have a little sister, she is 8 years old, I can understand the way you feel towards her because she is so young and innocent. What do the doctors say about her progress and recovery? I will pray for her and you as well, and know that we are always here for you if you ever need to talk. Lots of hugs and kisses TT, bye for now :-* <3

 

[Teeny Tiny]

Hi TT,

I am so sorry to hear about your little sister! Yes as others are saying it is important to be strong for her, but in your times of weakness, when you need someone to talk to we'll always be here for you. Be strong for her, when you're near her, but don't be afraid to let those tears go and relieve some of the pain and fear you are feeling when you're alone or with someone who cares, like us. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you everything is going to be alright, but it's impossible being so far away, and not knowing what's going to happen. And whatever you do don't be so strong and level headed that it makes you appear not to care, be strong, but don't be afraid to hold her and cry with her if she needs it, sometimes that's as important as having someone strong, I know I've had situations like that many times in my life. Your whole family will be in my prayers, I hope and pray that everything turns out okay and she lives a long happy life.

 

[alsolovely]

So very sorry to hear that your little sister has cancer as I read your post tears started to roll down my face because I can only imagine what you and your family are going threw, I will keep you and family in myprayers. Also not sure if you've heard of it or not but there is a tea called essiac tea thats suppose to help treat and prevent cancer. There are many success stories along with all types of information on this tea floating on the net, I hope this helps a lil.

 

[Rafferty]

TT, that is absolutely devastating. I know there is nothing that any of us can do for you or your sister, but just know that we are thinking of you and praying for your little sister to get better. Big hugs. :-*

 

[Zenity]

TT,

Gosh! this is just so unfair. My dad went to a similar issue and remember we were pretty much living at the hospital. The worse part of it was seeing the kids going through this.
If I was around I would be getting all the information I could about alkaline diet, detox, find out some things about Dr. Hulda's Clark protocol, and Miraracle mineral solution (mms) or whatever I could besides her treatment at the hospital. There are many things that people who develope cancer have in common: one is tons of fungus and internal parasites and another one is a very high acidid body.
My brother in law had a linphoma and after his surgery he followed Dr Johanna budwig protocol. A simple recipe containing some cheese and flaxseed oil I think that speed up his recovery and the best of all is that is agressive cancer never returned.

Some forums like curezone or earthclininc have tons of information as well.

I know she is in good hands, but a little "push" is always welcome.

If you haven't I would suggest you & your family members to watch "the secret" amazing stories are there about regular people, just like you an me who have gone through incredible deceases and succeed. This will give you inner strength and positive energy to spread around her.

Stay healthy and beautiful and please, find a good way for you to release your feelings. I am sure the NB community will always be here for whatever you need.


I wish you all the best.

 

[noogleberry]

Hi TT and its hard to imagine what you are going through. There are many different types of cancers and Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (NHL) is extremely treatable compared to many other types. It responds extremely well to chemo and radiotherapy and the fact that the lumps are coming quickly could indicate that they will dissappear just as quickly. There is every chance that she could make a full recovery and the fact the she is so young will go in her favour as many childhood cancers are extremely curable. There is much information on the internet but i would say to try and resist dubious sites offering amazing results with expensive treatments. Her best chance of success is by use of conventional medicine which has undergone many controlled clinical trials and a good balanced diet. I find that the website below is full of useful information for carers, patients and healthcare professionals and the information contained has undergone vigorous peer review etc;

www.macmillan.org.uk and there is a section on NHL here;

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Lymphomanon-Hodgkin/Non-Hodgkinlymphoma.aspx

im sure you'll get a lot of support from our kind forum members so just email back if you need to.

best wishes

Lucy

 

[amelie]

TT, I´m so sorry! You must be really going to pieces, believe me I know what you´re going through.

There is a long history of cancer in my family, one of them my own mum and grandmother, who passed away last year. My mother survived a very agressive form of skincancer called melanoma, actually they didn´t give her more than a few months but she´s still here after more than 10 years, so it is possible to recover from cancer. I don´t know much about this particular disease your sister has, but what you learn after all those cancers, is that if doctors think that there is a single chance the patient will recover, they will do the treatment. So don´t lose faith!

Now is the moment for you to be strong, you´ll have to be there for your sister and mum as well. The only advice I can give is try to spend a lot of time with them and give them support, save the tears for when you´re at home with your husband. Don´t fall into the trap of thinking the "if only we had done this different..." or the "what did we do that this happened...", that will only weaken you. Also, feeling sorry for yourself and for your sister doesn´t help either, it just makes things harder because at this moment you all need to be very much focused and positive.
The thing is, there are lots of theories going on about why people get cancer, and most of the time they leave you with the feeling that it´s because you´ve done something wrong. When my mother was having chemo there were always people saying things like "oh well, they say you get cancer when you have negative thoughts" or "if you have cancer it´s because you have some unresolved issues". Well, all that is simply not true!!! Bad things just happen because that´s life. And it´s also very unfair, there you are feeling ill because the chemo makes you puke, and on top you should feel guilty because you had "bad thoughts" that gave you cancer. So please don´t believe any of that crap.

Another thing my mum hated when she was in hospital was people feeling sorry for her, you know? I hear many cancer patients resent it when others treat them different, and it brings them down when they are at a moment when they need all the positive energy they can get. So try to act confident when you´re around your sister, that will give her strenght.
I read there are some doctors that combine treatment with a therapy that consists of the patient imagining getting into their body to combat the tumors, they have been succesfull with children doing this, so maybe you can ask your sister´s doctor about this?

Anyway, I send you a big hug, I wish we could all be there in person for you now, but let us know whenever you feel like you need someone to listen to you. And all the best for your sister!!

 

[ursulacurnow]

Hi TT.

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. It's never easy to know how to feel or act in these extreme times and I understand that it can be confusing. We can feel a pressure to behave a certain way or worry that if we get it wrong, we will adversely affect our loved ones.
(At least I've felt this way in the past.)

The best advice I can give to you is to allow yourself to feel however you are feeling in any given moment. Don't apologise for feeling happy or sad or whatever. It's all understandable. Kids in particular are really clued in to what's authentic. I think if you are trying to cover up how you are feeling, she may just feel confused. I'm sure she's scared and going through a rollercoaster of emotions herself. She's also old enough to understand that naturally the people around her are going to feel this way too. Just be there with her and support however she is feeling and be honest about where you are at. Kids tend to take on an awful lot of personal responsibility and she doesn't need to be feeling that she needs to be acting a certain way or repressing her emotions so that she doesn't upset others. Her emotions need to be expressed, all of them, and once expressed, they'll move on and she can feel balanced again. The same goes for you and your family.

It's a scary time, but there's also hope and life doesn't stop and wait for us. Obviously be sensitive to her, but express your hopes and joys and fears (and this allows her to do the same). Tears can be healing and cathartic and laughter can be a precious and needed diversion. Just honour what is happening for you all together. Be with each other. Be authentic. Sometimes tragedy can bring you unexpected gifts, it just may take a while to realise them. Trust that what's happening in each moment is OK.

My thoughts are with you. Much love,

E xx

 

[blue_sardine]

Hi TT,

I'm so sorry about your sister, that is just horrible. Try your best not to stress about how your Mum and Nan would feel if the worst happened too much at this point - it is only an extra burden for you to carry as well as your worry about your sister, and it won't help anyone. Remember, they are probably worried about your feelings while you worry about theirs! Maybe that's one worry you could let go of for now, and lighten the load on your mind a bit? If you are there for each other, that's the best you can do.

You said you were going to take some bits and pieces in when you go to see her? I want to try and help in some practical way, so here are some things my sister loved when she was 10 - just in case this list gives you any novelty ideas that your sister might enjoy:

- crystals and fancy rocks (especially if they came with a leaflet that said what qualities each one has, like 'tiger's eye gives you energy' and 'rose quartz does this and that...' etc)
- magic eye books (those ones that have a hidden picture that you can't see until you blur your eyes)
- bubble-blowing stuff (where you dip the wand into the liquid and blow bubbles with it)
- mood rings
- beads of all kinds (especially complex, pretty ones) and craft wire, little clasps, etc for making necklaces and bracelets
- books with facts about animals (especially if the facts were weird or wild or gross)
- whoopee cushions (we had one in the house for, like, 5 years!). Great for pranking visiting relatives, for example...

My most positive thoughts are with you and your family. I wish your sister the very, very best with her treatment. Stay strong, TT - you can do it.

Blue.

 

[joanne]

hi TT my thoughts are with you and yr family i just lost my uncle to cancer this week :'( x x x
we are all hear for you xx

 

[tavia]

thankyou anastasia, sofia, nik1, nilly19, teenytiny, alsolovely, rafferty, nadir, lucy, amelle, egypttmoon, blue_sardine and joanne

thanku for all your kind words, im feeling sooo much better now, i took a littel time to calm down, i went to see her and now im feeling more optimistic, i didnt bry at all infront of her and i looked and acted like the older sister she is used to.
even though her da and mum r taking it in turns to sleep th enight with her, she still didnt want me to go,
she has a biopsy on monday and a tube put in her chest for the chemp and other meds and bloods etc and will start the chemo aswell,
i have not cryed since seeing her, im just praying and thinking positive and making sure she knows that im here for her... shes so sweet and strong

 

[tavia]

she had her biopsy now and the tube put in her chest and they also took some bone to test aswell, poor thing she was in so much pain when she woke up but shes much better now, we r just waiting for results now for a proper diagnosis on her condition,
blue_sardine, im going to hobbycraft to get her some jewellery making stuff to keep her ocupied, bead etc, and also some paper and pens and anything else i can find,,,

oh and she loves water melon so im gonna get 1 of those ..x

 

[Teeny Tiny]

You and your little sister, along with the rest of your family are in my prayers. I hope that you get good news that it will be easily treatable and that she will make a fast, full recovery and have a long healthy life and comes out of it stronger than when she went in, as I believe in my heart that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

May God bless you and your family and keep you all strong through this tough time. :-*

 

[tavia]

thanku so much teenytiny, its true, .. what doesnt kill u makes u stronger, i just found out that she doesnt even know shes got cancer, she knows shes got non hodgekins lymfoma but does not know its cancer,
she said to my mum yesterday,, "mum have i got cancer"
my mum didnt know what to say so she just said " no youve got non hodgkins lymfoma"
but we r going to try and tell her soon,... we dont want to worry her

thanku for yr proyers teeny and every 1 else, they mean alot to me xxx

 

[blue_sardine]

Hey TT,

Geez, that's tough that your sister doesn't know yet - very, very best of luck with letting her know as gently and easily as possible! I hope her diagnosis is as good as it could possibly be and that her treatment goes amazingly and she recovers totally, completely, 100%. My positive thoughts and energies are heading your way.

Did you have any luck with finding the jewellery making stuff?

 

[tavia]

she has a rare form of non hodgekins lymfoma, and shes going to have 2 years of treatment for it, i know she will be ok.

no i was running late so couldnt get it for her, but i told her that im going to get her some... she has a playstation next to her bed now so i suppose that helps keep her amused xxxx