Holy crap TT I owe ya one girl - sumbody gimme a glass of ice water! hooooo-wheeeee momma, WOW, DAMN, yeah, I think I'm gonna spend the rest of the day on youtube, having heart palpitations... ;D
Hopefulgirl, how ARE YOU DOING honey????
I totally feel you. I often feel the same way, and luckily, I've usually ended up with guys that are totally obsessed with me and either don't watch porn, or are successful at keeping that sh#@ COMPLETELY out of my face - cuz I really can't tolerate it. Wish I could! I'd rather be so open minded and accepting of myself and male sexuality, but i feel so jealous i can feel it physically - it turns my stomach and makes my patooty cringe.
Anastasia - you're so blessed to feel so free! I admire that, but can't seem to manage it.
Of course, I'm being a hypocrite 'cause my bf would not appreciate my viewing TT's *bit of heaven* there either... but it IS sort of reassuring to me to notice that as much as I enjoyed that show, I'd never choose that guy over my own! Hopefully they feel the same way when they look.
Let us know how you're doing, girl. I know how painful that is!!! Don't bottle it up and let it fester. I love blue sardine's brazen attitude - if he's makin ya miserable, kick im to the curb baby. You gotta love you!!!
But I also agree with the girls who emphasize building your self esteem so that these things can't cut u so deep - easier said than done. I've found the only way for me to really ameliorate those feelings is to build my sense of my own worth through the development of talent - I feel better about myself when I spend time volunteering helping others, for instance. It makes me feel so special and important, in a totally non-sexual way. Or getting really good grades, or learning some form of dance, learn to drum/martial arts/paint, or taking care of children or animals... these things help me feel really good about myself - like some dumb porno ho aint really got nothing on me! Do you think any of those things might help you? Keep us posted, we're all here to help.
Oh, and don't forget to kill your television (did SO much for my self-esteem) and make sure to spend lots of time with powerful, (inwardly) beautiful women - the kind that amaze and inspire you - it's sooooo empowering and helpful!
BIG HUGS sister!!! Paloma