From reading crossdressers.com forum, most of the marriages break after the closeted crossdressing husband came out to his wife all in one go, or she caught him, or their were in a "don't ask don't tell" relationship then he went too far without her approval or caring for her emotional comfort regarding the situation. So you have a chance to stay together if you communicate a lot and can slow your desire to explore your feminity without overflowing her pace of understanding.
small but growing
- Thread starter smala
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Dustin2218
Veteran Noogler
My marriage broke due to me liking to crossdress and wanting to grow breasts. But I must say I am much happier now that I'm no longer with her. I don'thave anybody to answer to and I can be myself.
dminer84
Fulfilling a dream...
Honestly very few people fit that "ideal" image of man or woman (and good luck finding a single ideal). It is either too short, tall, fat, skinny, hairy, etc. The list goes on and on. I have met several women over 6 feet tall. I have a friend who is a model/actress and she is 5'9" (my height) and wears heels all the time. So I am usually looking up at her.
As for comfort, I would suggest not confusing the outward expression (like clothes) with the internal motivations. Perhaps it isn't the clothes that make you comfortable but rather the freedom to identify as a specific stereotype?
Take myself for example, I find wearing women's tops and pants comfortable because they actually fit better compared to men's. However when I'm wearing the bra, I find a mental change more than anything to do with comfort (as I don't need the physical support yet).
There are counsellors who specialize in gender identity. Perhaps you may find it helpful to talk with one to help explore this facet of your identity. But in the end, the journey will be about you learning about yourself rather than learning how to "fit in" with social norms.
DJ
As for comfort, I would suggest not confusing the outward expression (like clothes) with the internal motivations. Perhaps it isn't the clothes that make you comfortable but rather the freedom to identify as a specific stereotype?
Take myself for example, I find wearing women's tops and pants comfortable because they actually fit better compared to men's. However when I'm wearing the bra, I find a mental change more than anything to do with comfort (as I don't need the physical support yet).
There are counsellors who specialize in gender identity. Perhaps you may find it helpful to talk with one to help explore this facet of your identity. But in the end, the journey will be about you learning about yourself rather than learning how to "fit in" with social norms.
DJ
BuxomBoobs
New Member
you married this woman, and so you promised as did she to each other. So it is your DUTY to share with her all you have shared here.
What you must also give her, is the comfort of knowing that this will not change her place in your life, if that is your intention.
If her societal programming cannot cope with these things, then it would be best for both of you to go your separate ways so that pains and chains can be broken as soon as possible and healing can then begin.
For me, it's not so much a desire to be female, as it is to break all the programming that i grew up with. Boys at least in my era, and area, were taught to be monsters. Uncaring unthinking unloving, emotionless war machines. So I guess it's more rebellion than anything else, a way to force compassion on the beast. Doing the dressing thing does seem to help with some of those idea's, and ... has given me a whole new outlook on how women have to deal with their programming. If you compare how a tribal community grows and thrives, none of this stuff even applies, so that's all it is ... someone else's viewpoint crammed into your skull.
That aside, what it comes down to for us, is honest communication with our loved ones. Very important because as human's we fear the unknown, so don't let her go around fearing the unknown, at some point in a relaxed day, make dinner, give her a good glass of wine or two and have that conversation.
What you must also give her, is the comfort of knowing that this will not change her place in your life, if that is your intention.
If her societal programming cannot cope with these things, then it would be best for both of you to go your separate ways so that pains and chains can be broken as soon as possible and healing can then begin.
For me, it's not so much a desire to be female, as it is to break all the programming that i grew up with. Boys at least in my era, and area, were taught to be monsters. Uncaring unthinking unloving, emotionless war machines. So I guess it's more rebellion than anything else, a way to force compassion on the beast. Doing the dressing thing does seem to help with some of those idea's, and ... has given me a whole new outlook on how women have to deal with their programming. If you compare how a tribal community grows and thrives, none of this stuff even applies, so that's all it is ... someone else's viewpoint crammed into your skull.
That aside, what it comes down to for us, is honest communication with our loved ones. Very important because as human's we fear the unknown, so don't let her go around fearing the unknown, at some point in a relaxed day, make dinner, give her a good glass of wine or two and have that conversation.