soonenough
New Member
Oh my, I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there, and will pray for your fast recovery. thanks for letting us know.
joni's stats
- Thread starter jnorton22002
- Start date
jnorton22002
New Member
thank you to all again. I am in the Clinic again drinking all the water I can to pee on my own. Still haven't. Bowl movements aresooooooooooo hard. I have to push so hard that the surgical area will bleed a little. Have asked for something that will clean my bowls but they haven't done that yet Thanks Love Mama J 
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi again to all.
I must say I'm sorry for not posting like I usually do. Sometimes things are good and some times they aren't. But, I just wanted to update for any of you interested. I finally can sit on a rubber ring like pillow. I finally have started to have bowl movements that are way easier than before. They left the tube in all weekend to give pills they prescribed a chance to work. The pills are suppose to cause a great increase in urine flow. The doc explained that many suffer the same problem, not all but many. It is because of the surgery. It is like a connection has to be completed again like before my surgery. This has really been a test of my emotion and will power. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I feel I have acted like a wimp. All my other surgeries pail to this one. Well that's it. Going home Thursday. Plane ride is 23 hours and I know it won't be a comfortable experience. Thank you to those that have shown compassion. I love you for it Hugs Joni or Mama J :-* :-* :-* :-*
I must say I'm sorry for not posting like I usually do. Sometimes things are good and some times they aren't. But, I just wanted to update for any of you interested. I finally can sit on a rubber ring like pillow. I finally have started to have bowl movements that are way easier than before. They left the tube in all weekend to give pills they prescribed a chance to work. The pills are suppose to cause a great increase in urine flow. The doc explained that many suffer the same problem, not all but many. It is because of the surgery. It is like a connection has to be completed again like before my surgery. This has really been a test of my emotion and will power. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I feel I have acted like a wimp. All my other surgeries pail to this one. Well that's it. Going home Thursday. Plane ride is 23 hours and I know it won't be a comfortable experience. Thank you to those that have shown compassion. I love you for it Hugs Joni or Mama J :-* :-* :-* :-*
Anatori
New Member
Mama J you are not a wimp! Stop saying that! You are a very strong woman! Both physically and emotionally. You were strong enough to go through with achieving your dream. You were strong enough to get through it. And you were strong enough to open up about it with us. I say again you are an inspiration, not a wimp. Glad to hear you're going home. Fly safely.
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi Anatori,
You are very sweet. The fact is that every night I can't even sleep because between the day and nit, some thing happens and I get so much pain it won't quit.It is 3:45 am here in Thailand and I haven't even slept. I have always been able to deal with pain. I guess I got rn over by a train on this one. I don't feel strong but I will think it for the moment. Bless you sweetie for your kindness. You are a honey of a person Mama J :-* :-* :-* :-*
You are very sweet. The fact is that every night I can't even sleep because between the day and nit, some thing happens and I get so much pain it won't quit.It is 3:45 am here in Thailand and I haven't even slept. I have always been able to deal with pain. I guess I got rn over by a train on this one. I don't feel strong but I will think it for the moment. Bless you sweetie for your kindness. You are a honey of a person Mama J :-* :-* :-* :-*
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi every one who reads,
this is an update. Many good things have happened and one thing hasn't changed. The peeing problem is still here with me but I don't feel the strain of defeat like I was. I don't feel like a wimp anymore, in fact my mind as changed. I feel almost like a warrior, because I will beat this peeing problem. There are factors I have discovered that are causing the problem, all of which the doctor said with time will go away. The worst of those are, I have always been able to really hold my urine. That isn't my friend right now. It is the enemy. He said that with the training they have started that will go away. I have to use a surgical clamp on the tube to force me to "know" when to pee. It is this method that will reduce the trained muscle or whatever it is that I have learned to control to give in so to speak. It will also train my once male mind what it is like to pee as a woman. They are two very different ways to pee. A man can turn on the faucet so to speak, where a woman has to let gravity do the work it seems. It is this I don't know how to do. The clamp also lets me "feel" the urine leaving the bladder and coming through the uretha, to leave my body. I know this all sounds complex, but the fact is is that it is hard for me to change and it will take time. Age isn't my friend here either. My prostate is slightly enlarged which is causing a pinching effect and there is another thing called the lumen which also being pinched by the swelling which still needs time to go down. So it is all of these put together which because I know will get better, it will take time. They will take the time to instruct me in how to insert my on tubes. It sounds gruesome but I have gotten used to the pressure pain that is caused and it is a small way to have almost normal life until this peeing problem goes away on its own. Flatty Natty said I would like the medical people here. That is correct. I have come to really love these people because of their kindness and emotional concern, Food is out of this world for a hospital.
There is something though that happened that was very unexpected. I have always felt I knew myself, thought I knew how to treat people. What has happened here is although, I find it easy to help people, people like my family here, but I have learned that I didn't know how to love myself and therefore show ability to let others into my life. The Thai people are great teachers and I doubt they even know it. I have been so humbled by my shortcomings, shortcomings I didn't even know I had. Also I have learned to stop living in external lies. As a new person, I have begun the new life as a truthful woman, one that doesn't make up lies to feel better about myself. I've had a very hard and lonely life. I have learned the hard way, that it was my fault all along. I have now told every one of my family members of my change. You see I even told my one son and his wife, that I had gone on vacation to Ireland. Afraid to tell the truth, because I was afraid to lose them. I have now told them and have asked them to look deep into their souls and ask themselves what they would do if they felt the way I have all my life. I am no longer afraid of the future. I embrace my new life as Joni Jessica Norton. She is a loving and caring person ready willing and able to help all of you and to love myself as much as I have loved you all. I never learned to love as a child or even an older person. Because love for the most part wasn't in my life while being raised by our parents. I have a brother who feels as unloved as I used to feel. We both have had hard lives.It is he now that remains feeling unloved. Thank you all for loving me in each of your own ways. I can truly say I know how to love myself, but I really love you all I am no longer Mama J I'm JONI, your friend and person ready to help. Bless you all. much love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
j
this is an update. Many good things have happened and one thing hasn't changed. The peeing problem is still here with me but I don't feel the strain of defeat like I was. I don't feel like a wimp anymore, in fact my mind as changed. I feel almost like a warrior, because I will beat this peeing problem. There are factors I have discovered that are causing the problem, all of which the doctor said with time will go away. The worst of those are, I have always been able to really hold my urine. That isn't my friend right now. It is the enemy. He said that with the training they have started that will go away. I have to use a surgical clamp on the tube to force me to "know" when to pee. It is this method that will reduce the trained muscle or whatever it is that I have learned to control to give in so to speak. It will also train my once male mind what it is like to pee as a woman. They are two very different ways to pee. A man can turn on the faucet so to speak, where a woman has to let gravity do the work it seems. It is this I don't know how to do. The clamp also lets me "feel" the urine leaving the bladder and coming through the uretha, to leave my body. I know this all sounds complex, but the fact is is that it is hard for me to change and it will take time. Age isn't my friend here either. My prostate is slightly enlarged which is causing a pinching effect and there is another thing called the lumen which also being pinched by the swelling which still needs time to go down. So it is all of these put together which because I know will get better, it will take time. They will take the time to instruct me in how to insert my on tubes. It sounds gruesome but I have gotten used to the pressure pain that is caused and it is a small way to have almost normal life until this peeing problem goes away on its own. Flatty Natty said I would like the medical people here. That is correct. I have come to really love these people because of their kindness and emotional concern, Food is out of this world for a hospital.
There is something though that happened that was very unexpected. I have always felt I knew myself, thought I knew how to treat people. What has happened here is although, I find it easy to help people, people like my family here, but I have learned that I didn't know how to love myself and therefore show ability to let others into my life. The Thai people are great teachers and I doubt they even know it. I have been so humbled by my shortcomings, shortcomings I didn't even know I had. Also I have learned to stop living in external lies. As a new person, I have begun the new life as a truthful woman, one that doesn't make up lies to feel better about myself. I've had a very hard and lonely life. I have learned the hard way, that it was my fault all along. I have now told every one of my family members of my change. You see I even told my one son and his wife, that I had gone on vacation to Ireland. Afraid to tell the truth, because I was afraid to lose them. I have now told them and have asked them to look deep into their souls and ask themselves what they would do if they felt the way I have all my life. I am no longer afraid of the future. I embrace my new life as Joni Jessica Norton. She is a loving and caring person ready willing and able to help all of you and to love myself as much as I have loved you all. I never learned to love as a child or even an older person. Because love for the most part wasn't in my life while being raised by our parents. I have a brother who feels as unloved as I used to feel. We both have had hard lives.It is he now that remains feeling unloved. Thank you all for loving me in each of your own ways. I can truly say I know how to love myself, but I really love you all I am no longer Mama J I'm JONI, your friend and person ready to help. Bless you all. much love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
j
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi Steph and how are you,
I want to thank you for you thoughtful comment. I guess you could say I have had a incredible journey yes. Painful yes, still is. But you know Steph what joy I am getting out of this is more in what I am learning. I am learning so much. Things that I never even knew I had to learn. Thank you so much Bless yo Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-*
I want to thank you for you thoughtful comment. I guess you could say I have had a incredible journey yes. Painful yes, still is. But you know Steph what joy I am getting out of this is more in what I am learning. I am learning so much. Things that I never even knew I had to learn. Thank you so much Bless yo Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-*
Joni,
It sounds like you have had a lot of time to do deep soul searching. You sound so much more focused and I am just so proud of you. The fact that you told your son and his wife of the change tells me, you are now ready to become Joni not just physically but also mentally. That is very important too!
You sound so happy and uplifted and I'm sorry for the troubles you had as a child. Even though I didn't always agree with my parents I can say that they love me and it breaks my heart to think you didn't have that growing up at all.
I know for a fact you are loved here!! This is why I love this forum. Everyone is just so supportive and it makes me happy to see us lean on each other when we need it.
It sounds like you have had a lot of time to do deep soul searching. You sound so much more focused and I am just so proud of you. The fact that you told your son and his wife of the change tells me, you are now ready to become Joni not just physically but also mentally. That is very important too!
You sound so happy and uplifted and I'm sorry for the troubles you had as a child. Even though I didn't always agree with my parents I can say that they love me and it breaks my heart to think you didn't have that growing up at all.
I know for a fact you are loved here!! This is why I love this forum. Everyone is just so supportive and it makes me happy to see us lean on each other when we need it.
flatty_natty
Member
Joni, it is wonderful of you to share your feelings here with us in such a personal way. We are so proud of you.
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi Flatty my dear,
The one thing that I need to do as this new me which has finally arrived and that I waited my whole life for is to begin this new life as one that will celebrate living. I have now and always from now on not dwell on past things that cannot be changed. I promise to all of you, that as a member of this wonderful family, there will never be and more pity parties from me. I learned a very good lesson today. One which is far to involved to explain, that yes i had a hard and unloving upbringing, but I can say this------- I am alive. I need to celebrate my good fortune in that . I , with great joy, look forward to life as Joni, and am here for all of you to cry on my strong shoulders or rant at. I'm just so lucky I can breath air still/ Even if my life means having a tube in me all the time or having to put one in myself every time I need to pee. I love all of you, and want to thank you again for listening to even my self pity. You all are wonderful people YAY for Noogleberry and YAY to life as Joni Love Joni
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
The one thing that I need to do as this new me which has finally arrived and that I waited my whole life for is to begin this new life as one that will celebrate living. I have now and always from now on not dwell on past things that cannot be changed. I promise to all of you, that as a member of this wonderful family, there will never be and more pity parties from me. I learned a very good lesson today. One which is far to involved to explain, that yes i had a hard and unloving upbringing, but I can say this------- I am alive. I need to celebrate my good fortune in that . I , with great joy, look forward to life as Joni, and am here for all of you to cry on my strong shoulders or rant at. I'm just so lucky I can breath air still/ Even if my life means having a tube in me all the time or having to put one in myself every time I need to pee. I love all of you, and want to thank you again for listening to even my self pity. You all are wonderful people YAY for Noogleberry and YAY to life as Joni Love Joni
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
roadrashes
New Member
Love you too and the inspiration you have given all of us with your courage and deterimnation is priceless. Look at your current situation as temporary not permanent. You are putting up a tent where you are and not a house. I have temporary health condition involving me taking medication every 4 hrs and I am thankful that I can treat my medical condition. The same goes for you too. If you have to put a tube in temporarily then so be it.My son had asthma and I had to carry a machine with me everytime we went somewhere, but it didn't limit him from living life. Life is what you make of it. Carpe Diem, Joni. Please keep sharing with us. We are interested and care about you too.
Look at your current situation as temporary not permanent. You are putting up a tent where you are and not a house. I have temporary health condition involving me taking medication every 4 hrs and I am thankful that I can treat my medical condition. The same goes for you too. If you have to put a tube in temporarily then so be it.My son had asthma and I had to carry a machine with me everytime we went somewhere, but it didn't limit him from living life. Life is what you make of it. Carpe Diem, Joni. Please keep sharing with us. We are interested and care about you too. jnorton22002
New Member
Thank you Roadrashes,
I must say that this isn't a vacation I'm on, that's for sure. I am honored people think I help in fact I am humbled Thank you for you thoughtful comment Love Joni
I must say that this isn't a vacation I'm on, that's for sure. I am honored people think I help in fact I am humbled Thank you for you thoughtful comment Love Joni
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi everybody,
I couldn't wait to tell all of you. Today at the clinic here in Bangkok, I finally PEED on my own. The feeling was so incredible to see my own pee coming out of me. I feel like a new baby, I am so excited I want to pee in my dress right now again. I am so happy. YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!!.
Thank you all for being so wonderfully warm kind and loving. I love all of you so much Love Joni
I couldn't wait to tell all of you. Today at the clinic here in Bangkok, I finally PEED on my own. The feeling was so incredible to see my own pee coming out of me. I feel like a new baby, I am so excited I want to pee in my dress right now again. I am so happy. YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!!.
Thank you all for being so wonderfully warm kind and loving. I love all of you so much Love Joni
jnorton22002
New Member
Oh Steph it felt like nothing I have ever felt before. I never knew peeing could be so wonderful. They did put the tube back in so that more healing could take place as just 2 days before I couldn't pee. Thank you for your kindness Joni :-* :-* :-*
roadrashes
New Member
Checking in and looking forward to more good news.
jnorton22002
New Member
Went to the clinic one more time today before leaving for home later tonite. Not only did I pee 1 time after tube was taken out I peed 2 more times on my own just because I knew I had to.
I will update as possible on my way home at airports Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-*
I will update as possible on my way home at airports Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-*
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi everybody who reads,
Let me first say I'm sorry for not posting as much. I am now home with my kitties and the trip was very stressful. They put the tube back in for the trip home so I wouldn't have a swelling, thus peeing problem. It is still in only because I did swell and want to get a doctor first now for follow up and then take out tube. To all of you who supported me thank you I love all of you Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Let me first say I'm sorry for not posting as much. I am now home with my kitties and the trip was very stressful. They put the tube back in for the trip home so I wouldn't have a swelling, thus peeing problem. It is still in only because I did swell and want to get a doctor first now for follow up and then take out tube. To all of you who supported me thank you I love all of you Love Joni :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
jnorton22002
New Member
Hi to every one who may read this,
For some time now, Ifelt there was something I needed to say,something important and up until now, didn't quite know how to bring it up. With very little better understanding of that, I will try to put into words my thoughts.
Let's begin by saying I love this forum and all on this forum. Those that are closer to me know who they are. It has been suggested that some things I have said may not be the right way to present my past reasons for how, or were contradictory. Let me assure you all that my single biggest problem is putting into words my feelings down on paper. My ex wife has informed of this and after reading her take on it, as she knows very well things that I have explained, that they were. I I have agree that it is possible. I am not a person gifted with great writing skills only great love of people, and a true desire to help.
I have really become aware of some of the things in my past that need improvement, not just because of having had the surgery, but because of what I learned by simply observation of people and their habits in a country I never knew before. It is my wish to , as a new person, if you will, Joni, to live a life of nothing but truth and honesty. That is why I am writing this.
If there are any of you, that feel this may be true then I need to know, so that I can try and improve. I would like it if all of you who respond to be honest and not feel you have to hold back. Joni and her new life need to learn the right way not John's way. I'm a big girl and have broad shoulders.
Many of you have said I am an inspiration, but truly after becoming so aware of my need to improve as Joni, I find hard to live up to that unless, I can wipe the slate clean. I am a person of faith and I have prayed and have asked the Lord for forgiveness.
I need feedback. So, if you have thoughts, don't spare the rod here. I truly want to be that loving person I have always felt I was, until now. If the truth comes out that many that respond feel that I have shown problems, and you all feel that it would be better for me to leave the forum, I am willing to do that. Basically, I am putting my heart out to you all to help be a better person. So, please help me learn.
I do love all of, and it is because that I write this and am willing to abide by the majority of your feelings.
With a heavy heart I say I love you all and give myself to you to tell me your feelings
Thank you in advance
Love to all Joni :-* :-*
For some time now, Ifelt there was something I needed to say,something important and up until now, didn't quite know how to bring it up. With very little better understanding of that, I will try to put into words my thoughts.
Let's begin by saying I love this forum and all on this forum. Those that are closer to me know who they are. It has been suggested that some things I have said may not be the right way to present my past reasons for how, or were contradictory. Let me assure you all that my single biggest problem is putting into words my feelings down on paper. My ex wife has informed of this and after reading her take on it, as she knows very well things that I have explained, that they were. I I have agree that it is possible. I am not a person gifted with great writing skills only great love of people, and a true desire to help.
I have really become aware of some of the things in my past that need improvement, not just because of having had the surgery, but because of what I learned by simply observation of people and their habits in a country I never knew before. It is my wish to , as a new person, if you will, Joni, to live a life of nothing but truth and honesty. That is why I am writing this.
If there are any of you, that feel this may be true then I need to know, so that I can try and improve. I would like it if all of you who respond to be honest and not feel you have to hold back. Joni and her new life need to learn the right way not John's way. I'm a big girl and have broad shoulders.
Many of you have said I am an inspiration, but truly after becoming so aware of my need to improve as Joni, I find hard to live up to that unless, I can wipe the slate clean. I am a person of faith and I have prayed and have asked the Lord for forgiveness.
I need feedback. So, if you have thoughts, don't spare the rod here. I truly want to be that loving person I have always felt I was, until now. If the truth comes out that many that respond feel that I have shown problems, and you all feel that it would be better for me to leave the forum, I am willing to do that. Basically, I am putting my heart out to you all to help be a better person. So, please help me learn.
I do love all of, and it is because that I write this and am willing to abide by the majority of your feelings.
With a heavy heart I say I love you all and give myself to you to tell me your feelings
Thank you in advance
Love to all Joni :-* :-*